Why do some rules work but not others?
Women who want their husband to take control in their marriage sometimes come up with a list of rules for themselves and ask their husband to enforce them. In many cases, the wife is surprised to find that in practice this rule enforcement feels all wrong to her. In some cases the wife feels as though she herself is in control because the rules were her idea. Or the whole thing feels too much like a game. In many cases, the rule enforcement makes the wife feel resentful, angry and oppressed.
I don't know whether these negative reactions happen because the whole rules and punishment thing just doesn't work for some women, or whether it's because the woman herself instigated the rules concerned.
I love it when my husband gets really bossy with me. The more he lays down the law, the more cheerful I feel. When he really cracks the whip I feel positively ebullient. I don't feel resentful about him making rules (though sometimes I get slightly sullen when rebuked about something I have overlooked).
However, it is important to me that the rules my husband lays down for me are things he is actually interested in himself. It wouldn't work for me to have me tell him what I want him to make rules about, the rules need to be his idea in order for them to work for me. I might feel differently if I thought that the rules were only there because I wanted them, rather than because he wanted them.
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