You’ve found a man that, in spite of past less-than-satisfying relationships with men, overcomes your opinion of the opposite sex. You've discovered that, unlike others, he is a man that meets the need that you’ve been searching for. And now you ask, “where did he come from?” You ask, “are they born, or are they made?”
The answer is, “YES!”
A man is neither born nor made. He is born male, then (hopefully) matures into what we know as a man. Not that all males turn into what society would describe as the prototypical male. And, more so, not that all men are the type of man that desires to lead his woman, care for her, direct her, and yes, even discipline her.
My point is this: that this dominant (takeninhand-type) man of yours that you have found (or, are searching for) was born with some combination of inherent likes, desires, skill sets and other components. One of those components was a desire for dominance in a heterosexual relationship. But, just like other skill-sets that a person is born with, this desire (I would call it a need) must be developed, and most importantly, combined with other learned behavior to make the package one that is truly cherished by his woman.
The same man that you so admire, while always having that dominant thread running throughout his soul, may have also been a cad, may have also been weak, may have also been cavalier about a woman’s heart. But, time and experience have taught him. He has learned to look beyond his need to simply dominate by understanding the need that his woman has to be conquered, surrendered, and submissive. He has learned that this desire of hers to be dominated matches his own desire to dominate. Yet, he has learned that she cannot simply give it up. He must be worthy. He must understand. He must be intimate with her (not simply sexually intimate, for that is far too easy of a solution.)
No, he must KNOW her, and only then is she conquerable. In knowing her, he must also LOVE her and she must value his love for her. And, inherent in the act of love (again, not just sexual), is his desire to guide, protect and lead, making the best decisions for them.
Yes, he is born with a core. He is wired to dominate his woman. But, it is with time, mistakes, personal failures, and other obstacles that he is seasoned. When understanding, wisdom and maturity have fertilized this core—then you have the man. And this man is searching for his mate. For, as much as you ladies need this man for you, it is important to understand that not all women match up to him. And, when he has found his woman, she is cherished indeed!