The Taken In Hand site is focused primarily on the underlying psychology of happy marriage in which the husband wears the trousers—to his wife's delight. For those with Taken In Hand inclinations the husband being in charge is exciting, erotic and fun. That is, for those with Taken In Hand inclinations: if this isn't your cup of tea, Taken In Hand is definitely not for you.
What is Taken In Hand about?
Becoming and being all you want to be
These relationships are deeply connected, engaged and intimate
Relationships that last forever
Married for life
You and me—ordinary people
Women wanting their man to be in charge
The psychology of control
Many Taken In Hand women need to be conquered
Men wearing the trousers/pants in the relationship
The man has the balance of power
The man puts the relationship and his wife first
Men seeking/in Taken In Hand relationships ACTIVELY control
Strong women making a free choice
Strong, competent, high dominance alpha women who are not submissive—they don't have the D/s submissive need to serve and obey—but who are nevertheless lovely people, not domineering misandrist termagents
A deep feeling of peacefulness
A powerful erotic connection
Appreciating the one you love
Being brought to submission—if that's your cup of tea and not otherwise
Being head of the household because it is fun, fascinating and highly erotic for both of you, as opposed to as a duty or a right
Being sensitive to each other’s needs and wishes
Cherishing one another in a relationship
Dynamic, evolving relationships, not static, stereotypical ones
Exploring your deepest desires
Feeling appreciated, accepted and admired
Feeling intensely alive
Flourishing, blossoming, evolving, personal growth
Hardcore high intensity challenging interactions
Honouring those you love and yourself
Improving your relationship
Kindness in a relationship
Learning from your mistakes
Living a rich, vibrant, fulfilling life
Maintaining a non-defensive spirit
Maintaining control because that's what both spouses want
Men enjoying feeling powerful with women who find that sexy too
Men who are delightfully protective
Men who cherish the one they love
Mutual support in a relationship
Being mastered; mastery if that appeals
Openness and honesty in a relationship
Ownership and being owned
Possession and being possessed, for the sheer eroticism of it
Problems seem easier to solve
Reconnecting and remaining connected
Resolving disagreements quickly, creatively and positively
Reverence (reverent relationships)
Taken In Hand feels liberating
Taken In Hand feels right
Taken In Hand philosophy
The Taken In Hand relationship is wholeheartedly consensual and for the delight of both spouses. Although the husband is firmly in control, the marriage is very much a joint endeavour. We see it as an exciting, fascinating and fun adventure
Taken In Hand relationships come in many varieties
Taming, being tamed—because it is fun and exciting, not because the woman is a shrew
The psychology of the man in a Taken In Hand relationship
The psychology of the woman in a Taken In Hand relationship
Treating each other with respect
Women often feel powerful and free when taken in hand
What Taken In Hand is not about:
Taken In Hand is not about abuse, wife-beating or battering, bullying, non-consensual violence, or men being domineering, and if you think you may be in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately.
Taken In Hand is not about men being self-serving narcissists who passively sit around expecting their wife to act submissive and selflessly serve their endless needs and obey without question their demands no matter how immoral, repugnant or hurtful the demands may be. In fact, having power over their wives, husbands in Taken In Hand relationships take great care to put their wife and relationship first.
Taken In Hand is not about immature, thoughtless, self-absorbed drama queens who behave appallingly badly, fail to take responsibility for their own actions, and expect their husband to selflessly serve their endless needs and cure their personality defects and other problems. In fact, women in Taken In Hand relationships take responsibility for their own actions.
Taken In Hand does not assume the women are out of control emotionally or that the men are paragons of all known virtues. In fact, Taken In Hand recognizes the reality that individuals, whatever their sex, have strengths, weaknesses, virtues and faults, areas in which they think rationally and other areas plagued by irrationality The control in a Taken In Hand relationship is nothing to do with one spouse being better, stronger, more rational and more competent, or the other being faulty, deficient, or more irrational.
Taken In Hand is not about “Doms and subs”. In fact, Taken In Hand women tend not to describe themselves as “submissive”, despite the fact that their husband’s control makes them melt. And most men in these relationships are more likely to describe themselves as being in charge, or wearing the trousers/pants, than being “dominant”.
Taken In Hand is not about stereotypical behaviour or fixed roles that prevent the flourishing of either husband or wife. Whilst we all, as individuals, have our own ideas and preferences, Taken In Hand is not about one size fits all. There is no recipe for a Taken In Hand relationship. They come in many different varieties, and evolve in many different ways.
Taken In Hand is not about the denial of women's rights, or any wish to return to the Dark Ages or indeed, the 1950s (though some Taken In Hand folk find that idea erotic as fantasy!).
Women drawn to Taken In Hand relationships want a relationship with a down-to-earth, decent, dependable good man who wants to be in charge in his relationship but feels no need to act the swaggering “Dom”, knowing that real control in a fully committed marriage to a Taken In Hand inclined woman is ultimately far more erotic. Taken In Hand women do not expect their husbands to be superhuman, they want a real relationship with a real person.
Men drawn to Taken In Hand relationships want a relationship with a full human being who has a mind, ideas and wishes, and who does not diminish herself or lose herself in a relationship. They want a real woman, not an imaginary docile mindless yes-woman. In fact, many men say they positively revel in the challenge of being married to and in charge of a competent, strong, take-charge woman with a mind of her own, who is therefore a bit of a challenge. Some say that being married to a woman whom they have brought to obedience (taken in hand) is much more satisfying and erotic than being with one who was compliant or submissive from the outset so never needed to be taken in hand.
Taken In Hand is not about casual sex, harems, or uncommitted relationships, it is about fully committed, permanent, sexually exclusive, faithful, emotionally and practically invested, happy marriages—for those who prefer that.
Taken In Hand women do not diminish or lose themselves in the relationship. In fact, many report feeling more themselves, more creative, more productive, more able to do what they want to do and more able to make progress in their lives
Taken In Hand is not about women being told they need to be more submissive, and you will not see many instances of women being accused of “topping from the bottom” on this site. Whilst such posts may be appropriate on some sites, they are not appropriate here, because Taken In Hand does not advocate submissiveness—kindness, considerateness, behaving decently, yes of course, but self-sacrificially serving and obeying? No. The Taken In Hand relationship is wholeheartedly consensual and for the delight of both spouses. Although the husband is firmly in control, the marriage is very much a joint endeavour. We see it as an exciting, fascinating and fun adventure.
Taken In Hand is not about spanking, or having a discipline or punishment fetish, and despite complaints that the site is thus focused, many or even most Taken In Hand relationships involve no spanking, ‘discipline’ or ‘punishment’.
Taken In Hand is not about intolerance for others' choices in life. Not sharing others’ preferences is not the same as disapproving of them.
Taken In Hand is not about any particular politics (there are Taken In Hand people in all parts of the political spectrum, from the most libertarian to the most conservative) or religion (there are Taken In Hand Christians, Jews, Buddhists, pagans, Wiccans, agnostics and atheists, etc.); and Taken In Hand is not about being anti-feminist or indeed pro-feminist.