What if the man makes a mistake?

What if the man makes a mistake?

The husband will make mistakes. He is a human being, and human beings are fallible and make mistakes.

To expect yourself (the husband) not to make mistakes is totally unrealistic. Try to do your best, but don't fail to act because you fear making a mistake.

Yes, to act is to risk making a mistake, but that is the human condition. The risk-free life is no life at all. There is no way to make progress in any sphere of life without risking making mistakes. Making a mistake that causes problems for your spouse is not the same as wilfully or negligently wronging her. Your wife loves you and knows that your heart is pure, your intentions good.

Yes of course strive to solve problems rather than causing them, and yes of course take care to put your wife and the relationship first, but whatever action you take, whatever changes you make, you have no choice but to risk making mistakes even as you strive not to make a mistake.

Mistakes can easily be forgiven. Inaction can be less easy to forgive, and more terrifying, because it can feel to your wife as though you are indifferent to her or don't care enough to bother taking action or making changes to improve your marriage. If you make a mistake, apologise and move forward. Learn from it. Don't retreat into the paralysis of inaction. Faint heart never won fair lady. Fortune favours the brave. He who dares wins.

Making changes and taking action is a risk, but don't forget that failing to make changes and take action is also a risk. There is no course of action that is risk-free, so choose the course that seems to you most likely to solve a problem. If it later turns out that you were mistaken, make another change to correct the problem. Keep making changes iteratively until you can't see any problems. Then make changes to make things even better.

Keep in mind that in a Taken In Hand relationship, the mistakes you may be worried about making are mistakes that happen when you are striving to improve your relationship. Many husbands do not put much energy and creativity into improving their marriage. What a gift you are giving your wife in caring so much that you want to solve problems and make changes that will improve your marriage. You wife is much more likely to feel deep gratitude for your efforts than angry that you make some mistakes along the way.

You will make mistakes. You are human. That's life. There is no alternative. Try not to become paralysed by guilt or the fear of making mistakes.

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[This is an answer to a frequently-asked question: this page is part of the FAQ. Please try to ensure that your post is answering the question or discussing the above post. The question is: What if the man makes a mistake?]