About 6 months ago I made a proposition to my husband. Although our marriage was great and our sex life was too there just seemed to be something missing. Like it was the same thing all the time. I was looking for ways to spice things up a bit when I stumbled across this website. The idea of my husband being in control totally turned me on and the thought of him being completely in charge in our relationship even more so.
So after days and days of stressing over how to approach the subject I finally did. I told him I was tired of always trying to control everything and the stress that it brought with it and I wanted him to be in charge. He was thrilled of course. He felt like a real man. But as time passed I grew more and more agitated because it wasn't happening the way I had thought. He was taking control of everything but me and my needs. The money, the household decisions, etc... That isn't what I was imagining.
After a while and a few arguments I said it wasn't working and told him I basically wanted the 50/50 relationship back again. With one exception: he could still be in control in the bedroom. Well that didn't work either. It didn't turn me on. I was emotionally "flat" in the bedroom.
He was loving it because he had sex whenever and however he wanted. And he assumed I was content as well. But he was missing the big picture. The real turn on for me was what I had always wanted my man to be: the big, strong, hero-like protector who put my well-being, health, and safety first.
So I decided to approach him with it again and just bite the bullet and be straight with him (hoping I didn't make a fool of myself) so one night the opportunity presented itself. It was late in the evening and he was going to the store to get something. I told him he better not take forever or I was locking the door. He grinned and said I was being a little bossy and I'd better stop or "else". Or else what, I threw back at him, with quite a bit of attitude. That's when he smacked my backside a couple of times and said " I'll have to give you an attitude adjustment". Bingo! He finally got it. I was sooo turned on.
Later that night in bed I told him that that little "conversation" we had had totally turned me on and I wanted to revisited the whole him taking charge thing with the understanding that I needed his control too. And I needed him to feel like he could use whatever means he felt necessary to make our relationship tranquil and totally trusting in one another.
I knew he understood when he kissed me and said "I totally want to take on this responsibility but don't get mad at me if I feel like you need to be put in your place. Know that I'm doing it out of love, and trust that I know what will make our relationship strong." Yay!!! He got it.