Until recently I thought an â€œequalâ€ relationship was the ideal. The thought of obeying was foreign to me. The man as the authority? Head of the household? Wearing the pants? Hah!
Then, at age 45 and with four teenagers, I met the man who is now in my life. He is undoubtedly different from the others. On one hand, he is strong, confident, firm, and direct. My father, when he met this man, warned me: heâ€™ll take crap from no one, including you. And my father was right. But on the other hand, this man is warm, caring, gentle, and giving. Iâ€™ve never before been treated with such tenderness.
He made it clear early in our relationship that he must be the leader. Slowly, as I have learned more about him, I have become more comfortable with him in that role. He doesnâ€™t give me overt orders or demand my obedience in any way. He simply acts with authority—and leaves the rest to me!
The interesting thing about all this is that I have never yearned to be obedient nor do I actually feel obedient—but to him, in this relationship, I AM obedient. He expects me to follow his lead, and (oddly, it still seems to me) I do, usually gratefully. I feel incredibly satisfied when I please him, and I am more content than Iâ€™ve ever been in an â€œequalâ€ partnership.
He does not tell me what to wear; yet, Iâ€™ve subtly changed my wardrobe to better suit his tastes. He does not tell me not to curse; yet, Iâ€™ve given it up because he views such language from a lady as unbecoming. When he tells me of a decision (i.e., weâ€™ll not meet for lunch today because the snow has made the roads dangerous), I listen and agree. In other words, I am willfully obedient and respect his authority.
Do I ever question his decisions? Yes. He encourages me to do so, telling me that itâ€™s my job to help him make decisions that are right for both of us. He wants my input and appreciates me for it.
Yet I have never questioned his authority. Somehow, it just is.