I have been enjoying a relationship with a very masculine man. He can be a lot of fun with an upbeat personality. He can also be serious and to the point. For example, he seems to like to be the boss. This is a somewhat new type of experience for me, as in previous relationships I have held a lot of strength one way or another. This man is very quick to slice to the point and keep things on track. I may carry the conversation in different directions but he always goes back to the main point until he hears my response.
This man's ways tend to leave me breathless. I like his strength. Yet sometimes I find myself feeling like a kid. Or said another way, like I feel I am put in my place. That place feels like a traditional route. It is far from the independent woman I have been. That traditional place brings me a different kind of comfort and one that I feel I need and have been missing. To better explain it, I feel as though I am cared for and respected and treated like a woman who is in the company of a strong, knowing man.
This man is quick to demonstrate that he will use his masculine strength as he wishes and when he wishes. This is both physical and mental strength. If I try to kiddingly push him onto the bed, he is quick to grab and flip me first. If I say I am going to spend my time watching some TV show that I really have no interest in watching, he'll tell me there will be a quiz.
This man is very respectful. He is old-fashioned. He has some standards, such as that ladies shouldn't swear. Of course not.
I do not think I have ever felt completely relaxed in the envelope of a man's love. Yet with this man, his strength beckons. He is more challenging in some ways then I am experienced at working with. Therefore, I find myself both attracted to his strength yet also wondering if I am betraying who I have grown to be—strong, independent, in control. And maybe control is the biggest flag of all. By relaxing into, and accepting, his male strength and position as a leader, who am I?
In a relationship in which the man is clear about the fact that he will take charge when he wants, is it normal to feel a bit “small”?
To be a capable, adult woman taking instructions (which he calls guidance) is odd. Yet, he is generally quite right in what he instructs. And in the end, I feel happier and usually achieve a goal.
In the past, this type of man is one whom I might have been quick to get angry at (i.e. “you'll not tell me what to do!”, yet something about him and where I am in this place of my life, is very attracting to my mind.
It's just such a different place to be for me. I am not familiar with it. Can you help me to understand it?