The power of a woman who submits to her man

I believe that when a woman chooses to submit in a relationship, she does not become less. In fact, she becomes an equal component in a two-part relationship whose total power or energy has been increased beyond the sum of its parts. She is an equal component in terms of the magnitude of her contribution, just not the direction.

The man might feel empowered in the Taken In Hand relationship; well, he is. But only as much as the woman allows him to be. The day she walks out, his positively charged alpha-energy is deflated. He's like a magnet with no iron to attract – so whatever power he might have had is irrelevant until he can find another pole with which to interact.

The woman's seemingly passive act of submission is, in a very Taoist sort of way, one of active creation. Simply put, she makes her man more powerful. His continued power depends on her continued submission. Personally, I regard someone with the ability to literally change me as being powerful.

Putting the relationship in this context, it only makes sense that a woman can and should be discriminating in how and when she exercises her power to create. The two organisms meet, notice they have opposite charges - thus there is attraction, so they make a conscious decision to tune their relationship. They position themselves in such a way as to maximize the total flow of energy.

It might serve some fantasy for some parties to think of the woman as some empty, mindless vessel, but the physical reality of the situation is that the woman remains responsible for her life. As such, of course she has the right to be cautious about with whom and in what manner she chooses to experience her relationships.

Mike

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2005 Oct 7 - 07:02 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Well Said, Mike

A strong, submitted, loving woman who funnels her energy into the dominant, loving man, creates quite a power pack. Properly established and respected by both parties, their relationship will be stronger and far more electric than any without this structure.

I had written an article a few months back on the Power Connectivity of a Taken In Hand relationship. It was from a different angle, but the concept meshes well with the thoughts that you have expressed in this article.

Thanks for your thoughts. It is always good to hear from the male side of the site.

Sam (of Sam & Missy)

by Sam2020 on 2005 Oct 7 - 12:22 | reply to this comment

Like everyone

Like everyone, a woman in a Taken In Hand relationship is both strong and weak. A man in a Taken In Hand relationship is both strong and weak as well. Both are people who are responsible for their own actions and both need love, kindness and respect.

A stong, submitted woman does what will please her man, supports him in his endeavors, and gives him (very nearly) unconditional acceptance and love. This means she is sometimes needy, and leaning on him, and sometimes strong, allowing him to lean on her.

How submitted would I be if I required my love to be always strong, always upright, and never in need? My job is to give him what he needs, and sometimes that is to be held though a rough time.

An "empty, mindless vessel" would be of no use to any but the most simple man.

by Angela Harms on 2005 Oct 8 - 02:59 | reply to this comment

Being submitted isn't the object

I agree we're none of us strong all the time, but I don't like the moralizing tone of "how submitted would I be if..." Being submitted isn't the name of the game around here. You want to be submissive, OK, but there's a lot here that don't. Being submitted isn't the be all and end all.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Oct 9 - 01:43 | reply to this comment

A man-led relationship needs room for the man to get his needs m

I certainly didn't intend to be "moralizing," although I did intend to describe what I think is the right thing to do.

Whether anyone "submits" or not (whatever that means), a man-led relationship needs to have room for the man to get his needs met. That was my entire point.

I'm not entirely clear on what you mean by "be all and end all." Would you care to elaborate?

by Angela Harms on 2005 Oct 10 - 16:50 | reply to this comment

I think that is a beautiful a

I think that is a beautiful and very apt description of the flow of energy in this kind of relationship. Tibetan religious iconography will sometimes depict the male and female locked in a sexual embrace. This to me is not about sex per se but about the unbroken exchange of energy between male and female, yin and yang. How nicely you have described it as it appears outside of the bedroom.

by Gisele on 2005 Oct 11 - 06:25 | reply to this comment

very inaccurate

Very incorrect. a true dominant man doesn't NEED power from a women to feel dominant. He ALREADY has the power and feels that way, whether he is with a submissive woman or not.

If you are talking about someone without power, who NEEDS a women so that he has power, then yes, you'd be right
but then you are not talking about a true dominant man, but more of 2 dependent personalities. ;)

by LA Dom on 2006 Jun 26 - 00:18 | reply to this comment

taken in hand vs. d/s

“It might serve some fantasy for some parties to think of the woman as some empty, mindless vessel...”

the idea of being an empty, mindless vessel is precisely why i will never be in a d/s relationship again... being taken in hand has opened my eyes to the flaws of a typical d/s relationship. my “submission” to him has been unforced and very natural. i say “submission” because it doesn’t feel like anything i have previously experienced. though i would undoubtably and wholeheartedly do anything for this man, i don’t feel inferior to him; like his slave or servant. instead i feel connected and cared for and loved and cherished. while i do not consider my submission to him to be a form of power, i do feel more valuable than i have in any previous relationship, d/s or otherwise. this is the safest i have ever felt: i love him and i know he loves me. whether this is because he has taken me in hand, or whether it is because i was meant to be his, i don’t know. but it is a feeling i would not give up for anything in the world.

and i certainly do not think depending on someone means you cannot be truly dominant. even a “true dom,” as you may well consider yourself to be LA Dom, depends on the submission of a woman to satisfy his needs.

by lex on 2006 Jun 30 - 00:59 | reply to this comment

I completely understand...

I have a feeling that my partner would quite agree with your statements Mike. And your similarities don't end there, but that's another story. ^__^

My man fully understands and appreciates that all my submissiveness is (ultimately) by choice, and that it's out of love for him. He has said it's the fact that I desire to please him which is the most appealing about this approach to our relationship. And he does not lose respect for me because of those desires. In his own words:
You treat me like a king,
and so you are my queen.
I am also understanding of the concept that a man's dominance and power can be drawn out by a woman. That's not because she's stronger, or because his power wasn't there in the first place. It's because a good woman's strenghs bring out the strengths in a good man. And vice versa. I'm fairly certain that my partner has never been in a relationship with this dynamic before ours. But that doesn't matter; we can learn together.

One more thing, the title of your article struck a chord with me: The power of a woman who submits to her man. Oh how only a few years ago, such a concept was complete poppycock to me. But now I've lived some of it and seen it for myself. I get much further with by my man when I am loving, respectful and kind-- than when I'm selfish, insolent, and bitter. What I give to him is returned two-fold. I gain more "power" from him through submission than I ever would by simply yelling and being disagreeable.
by HollyCakes on 2006 Jul 8 - 09:18 | reply to this comment

OUR RELATIONSHIP IS A BATTERY

Hey, I really like the battery simile. It's similar to the YIN YANG simile someone posted in the forum. I would totally agree with it but the one thing which i can't agree with is that 'The woman's seemingly passive act of submission is, in a very Taoist sort of way, one of active creation. Simply put, she makes her man more powerful'. I don't think that a woman necessarily is 'making' her man powerful but she is rather making her self powerful, as contradictory as it may sound. Yes, the positive ions in a battery won't allow the battery (the relationship) to function without the negative ions (female) but the negative ions don't make the positive ions more powerful, the simply make the battery or the relationship work better. It is in men's nature to be more powerful, i know that in the past even when i haven't given my partner the power, he has taken it on his own will many times. And on those times that he hasn't, he has been very angry, agitated or frustrated. So even if I had tried to 'take control' I wasn't. And when i finally started to accept my place & position in the relationship, i wasn't necessarily giving him the power, i was giving the relationship the power because he already had it... just like every single man does, regardless of whether he realizes it or not.

Gina Jessica

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2008 May 3 - 09:56 | reply to this comment

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