The posting rules

Keep it on-topic for the site.

This site not a general chat forum, it is specifically about Taken In Hand relationships. Taken In Hand relationships which are fully committed sexually exclusive marriages in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly and actively in charge (to his wife's delight!)—and always puts his wife and their relationship first. Putting her and the relationship first is the key to creating a marriage in which the man is in control in a good, healthy and sustainable way.

Do not post about politics, religion, abortion, feminism/men's rights activism, children/parenting, spanking, swinging, poly relationships, or humiliation. Don't post spanking/DD, D/s, BDSM or fetish-related material here.

Don't glorify bad behaviour. Bad behaviour destroys marriages. This is not a site for self-absorbed “I'm soooooo bad/such a total b*tch to my husband, I'm completely out of control!!! Why won't he stop me?!!!” DD posts, or D/s posts promoting self-serving narcissistic dominance that is all about the man. A Taken In Hand relationship is for both spouses, not just one.

Keep it clean and sweet and non-scary.

Avoid using these words in your posts: “submissive”, “submit”, “submission”, “dominant”, “dominate”, “dominance”. When these words appear a lot on the site, we get thousands of hits via D/s sites and web searches whose content has nothing to do with Taken In Hand relationships, and the number of posts about dominance and submission having nothing to do with Taken In Hand relationships becomes overwhelming.

Not only do we want not to waste D/s people's time, we also want our grandmothers and mothers to be able to read this site without having a heart attack. Just think of us as a bunch of boring straight-laced prudish types who believe in permanent, happy, faithful marriage. Keep it clean and sweet and non-scary, like my grandmother was.

No sex posts. This is not a sex site.

Keep it kind.

We want to keep a certain gentleness and kindness and cosiness on this site, just like there is in Taken In Hand relationships. Bend over backwards to interpret things positively and to be kind in your posts. Taken In Hand is about creating a joy-filled marriage for both spouses. Do not post complaints about your spouse or men-bashing or women-bashing comments. We want to bring couples and the sexes together and make life better for everyone, so please keep that in mind when you post. If you have bitterness in your heart towards one sex or the other, you are not ready for a Taken In Hand relationship. Spiteful, angry and bitter posts ruin the atmosphere of the site and will be deleted.

Keep it honest.

If you quote someone, always state exactly where the person said what you are quoting. Do not allege that someone said something without providing the source so that others can check the context of the quote.

Avoid giving too much information.

Avoid mentioning your age, location or giving any other personal details. Keep your private life and the details of your relationship private. No exhibitionistic posts please. This is not the place to let it all hang out. Once you have written something on the internet, it is out there permanently. Do not give private information: you or someone else might one day regret it, when it appears on the front page of The New York Times, or worse, a blog read daily by multiple millions the world over.

Do not violate others' privacy.

Moreover, whether you are married or single, avoid giving details like people write in personal ads. To attract attention if you are single, post interesting on-topic posts and people will notice you and if you include your email address they can write to you. If you want to post a personal ad, do so only by following the instructions here. Otherwise don't even mention that you are single. People can read between the lines.

Say something new

Do not keep repeating yourself. Say something new. We are looking for new material, not more of the same.


All posts are subject to an editing process. We also sometimes cut large blocks of text. However, we do strive never to change the meaning of what you are saying. If this is unacceptable to you, please do not post. Do check each post you have written as it appears, and If you find that the meaning of something you have written has been changed in the editing process, please email us immediately and include in your email your proposed corrected version, and we'll either correct it as you wish, or remove your post entirely. Do that immediately: don't wait until people have replied to your post as it is then much more difficult to re-edit your post.