I believe it takes a great deal of discernment when a woman desires a Taken In Hand relationship. I'm a very strong woman who will never settle for anything less than a very strong man. However, I'm convinced that the kind of relationship that I desire is only to be had if I am found by the right man, not if I am initiating the finding.
If a man doesn't possess the drive to pursue, woo, and win me, then he's not for me. If women want to meet alpha males, they need to position themselves in the natural habitat of alpha males. My analogy is the same for recognizing counterfeit money. If you were working in a bank, you would not be trained to recognize counterfeit money by handling the counterfeit, it would be by the constant contact with what's real and true. Spend your time in an environment where traditional men are found and you'll recognize the genuine article. Make character a higher priority than money, looks, jobs and cars, which are all transitory.
So many times, women complain that they want a real man, but they have an intolerance for the behavior of real men and reject the whole package. When talking to men, I throw out bread crumbs along the trail. If they pick up on them, I throw out more. If they fail to see the trail, I move on.
I have found on dating sites that the best way to meet the type of men that I wish is to wait for them to approach me at all times. If a man doesn't take the initiative to contact me, then there will always be something lacking later on. Reading his profile and saving him to my favorites has been more than sufficient to indicate a possible interest for the right man. For the rest, I'm thankful not to have wasted my time, no matter how attractive I may find them.
A light gesture such as a hand at the small of my back to lead me across a room is something I find most attractive. Going dancing is so very telling as well. If a man can take care of you while out dancing, leading and guiding you around the dance floor, protecting you from unwanted attention, and feeling the way he moves in rhythm with you, that is a great indicator to me.
There are many red flags for women to observe when they first meet men, but unfortunately, the desire to be coupled can blind women to their intuition. Always trust your inner voice. Leading and protecting are entirely different from controlling and imposing. Does he respect your opinion, your desires, wants, and wishes without caving in to them, or is he annoyed, angry, or resentful for no reason?
Women often make the mistake of behaving badly themselves and should be taken in hand, but at the outset of a relationship they should not excuse men for bad behavior, reasoning away actions because of external circumstances. If you wouldn't tolerate such actions from a child, there is no excuse for a man not to exercise self-control. A man who has not mastered himself will never be able to master a woman.