There are times when I want her, and there are times when I NEED her.
There are times when she is relaxed and very available, and there are times that she is frazzled, rushed, and while available, just not in synch.
While she is always available, I try to match my mode to her current situation.
Forcefully taking her or “demanding” that she meet my needs is an approach that I try to employ to match her mode of emotional availability.
When she is in an edgy state, I approach her with great tenderness, always leaving her the option of delaying the inevitable. Yet, she knows that her responsibility to meet my need remains an unfilled event.
Properly timed and used, both approaches provide great enjoyment to both of us.