Many articles on Taken In Hand, while full of what is no doubt very good advice, seem to presuppose a high degree of virtue in both the man and the woman in such a relationship. They describe the roles of husband and wife in terms that make both man and woman sound positively saintly.
But what if you are not that virtuous? What if the woman is, like me, bone idle, self-absorbed and prone to sulking? What if the man is (like my husband for instance) vile-tempered and prone to fly off the handle at the slightest thing, and capable of occasional bouts of total irrationality?
I think, so long as both of you have sufficient interest in maintaining a happy relationship, and so long as you can get back on course after periods of upset, falls from grace etc, you can maintain a Taken In Hand relationship even if you do not have a high degree of moral virtue, or the unselfishness and noble characters of The Waltons.
Men in the kind of idealised relationships sometimes pictured on here, I feel, never lose their temper or shout at their wives. Wives never neglect the housework because they're on the computer (again). Nor do they sulk when told off by their husbands. My husband and i are not like this.
Nevertheless, for some reason, Taken In Hand seems to work for us. it gets us back on course after a row. It means that hurt feelings, upsets, etc, do not drag on for hours or days like they used to. It means we like each other better, communicate better, are closer than we used to be.
We are never going to be the idealised virtuous Taken In Hand couple, but we hang in there. so if, like me, you happen not to be the model virtuous wife, and your husband happens not to be the idealised perfect leader, take heart. Taken In Hand can still work for you. So long as you both want it to.