Surrendered in love

My wife and I have known each other for 35 years and been married 33. I am a young 63, she is 53, looks about thirty-five and acts like a delicious courtesan ... but only for me. About eighteen months ago, after one of our “you are my sexy-slave” erotic games (we have had a lovely fantasy sex-life for years) my wife said she wanted to be “surrendered” (as in The Surrendered Wife).

At first it was, perhaps, a joke or, more likely, because she realised something that I had not. Initially this was only part-time but very soon we realised that we both needed her to be totally surrendered, full time.

What does this consist of? She gets my total care and love and, since I retired early, my complete house-husbandry, including care of all our joint money and estate—and she now has a (substantial) “allowance”. In turn, her watch-words have become: total care, love and obedience for me and to me. Now we both delight in living like this all the time.

Eighteen months on, we are both so much more in love and loving, and so totally together and inseparable, than we ever were in the rest of our happy marriage. (I'm obviously a late-learner. I guess it was all there for a long time and I just didn't realise how much she needed me to take total care of her.)

To reinforce what is now loving dominance and submission, we have recently added domestic discipline (DD) (i.e., spanking), mainly to help her with keeping to diets, not “losing” keys so frequently, etc.

We are both serially experienced university graduates and my wife has a very senior post in the outside world. Nobody in our wide family realises what we have discovered ... our two sons, 26 and 28, who have been living away from home since university, do, however, tend to think that we are like love-crazy teenagers. My wife laughs like a drain to think what some of her more starchy colleagues would think if they knew we had this delicious relationship. It has left our “old” marriage light-years in the past and we now live very happily on another planet, called “unbelievable love”—or anything you want to call total happiness.

If it sounds crazy and quite daft to you (and some readers are no doubt about to throw up), I suggest you try it... you might be amazed how much you might love it all. It could totally change your life for the infinite better—for ever. Neither of us were ever wild swoon-eyed romantics—both tough as boots—our professions needed it—but this is great!

Ben Nathan

Taken In Hand Tour start | next


Happily a shrew...

I can only say ick. Glad y'all are happy, not for me. Thankfully, my husband doesn't need this sort of ego stroking.

Happily a shrew

Perhaps this shrewd person might have better titled her comment as 'Harpily a shrew'..... The two people who gain immensely from our relationship are my wife and I, in that order. Be judgemental if you like sitting in judgement (? ever heard of the Judaeo-Christian ethic regarding judging others); call it 'ego-stroking' if you want to distort the use of the English language... But why not try it before you exhale 'ick'and trundle away into your 'someone-ness' without saying what you DO like to contribute to the sum of your marital happiness.

I envy your wife

Your article made a lot of sense to me. And I'm envious of your wife. I have been married thirty years and love my husband, but there's part of me that he doesn't want to know and never aknowledges. We don't have the intimacy that I wish for, that I know you have. Thanks for your article.

Well said, Ben!

Well said, Ben! The shrew obviously didn't read your article carefully or she'd have seen that it was your wife that asked for it. Why do people have such knee-jerk reactions instead of thinking about it and reading what's written? Sheesh! I found your article charming, Ben. Don't let the shrew get to you. I pity her poor husband.

More about servants and slaves

Ben, this is a beautiful post and I couldn't help noticing you mention your wife's your sex slave and that got me to thinking more about the issue of being my husband's servant or slave. I guess we too have that dynamic to an extent and I love it. It doesn't seem disrespectful or what have you. I wanted to thank you for this post, Ben. It's great.


Servants and slaves by Cara W

Cara W has written a very gentle note on this vexed area of slaves and servants. I am Ben but no longer write as such, though my writings are on this site.
My wife herself asked to surrender, this lead to her asking (after over 30 years of happy marriage)to be my 24/7 slave. She is a highly talented person holding down a very senior post outside the home, has her 'own' car and a very generous allowance to spend on just what she wants to spend it on. It is an emotional enslavement... there are no bonds, no whips (except for games and occasional discipline for BOTH of us),

no 'scenes', no BDSM.. just a total, utter committment to each other until INFINITY. Twenty-one months into this new relationship we could not be happier... our family and the world knows nothing of our new love.It is probably not to the taste of many out there but. hey, we love it! Ben aka Nathan.