Until last week, my secret desire was one that I thought I was alone with. Despite three years of happy and monogamous marriage to Tim, I felt dishonest as I could not tell him what I was aching for inside. My true desire was for complete submission to him. Like many of your readers, I am all for equality of the law and civil rights, employment etc., but for me, I cannot escape what my nature is demanding of me. I thought eventually that I would have to tell Tim what I really wanted. In our love-making, he would take the lead and even pat my bottom with half spanks, which he knew sent me wild. Over the years I have often submitted to his will in decision making.
However, something more was needed. I was terrified of going into what seemed an extreme relationship with a partnership already established. One night, I happened to be browsing when I came across this site. I heard Tim walking by the study where we keep the computer. My instinct was to quickly switch off the link, but with a beating heart I waited and was aware of him sitting down quietly next to me. We read in silence for a while and then he asked me what I thought of these women who were in hand. I remember the flush on my face and the sensation of thrill and danger as I turned to him and said, “I would love to be in hand totally, Tim.”
We talked until the small hours that night. I remember it as an ecstatic release. At one point I explained that I would love to sometimes be nude when he was dressed, so he undressed me then with love and I sat naked on his lap whilst we went on defining what we both wanted. Feeling vulnerable and naked whilst in his loving strong arms was a spur to total honesty.
Since then, I have found that our relationship has been cleared of muddle, that my submissive yielding has made us both defined and at peace. He has spanked me properly now a few times and I have spent some time naked for him. The nudity is liberating as we would only previously be naked in bed or for sex. It is my way of sometimes feeling feminine and vulnerable.
I am so grateful for your website in setting us free.