New to Taken In Hand?ArticlesDon't miss these pagesReader discussionsSubmit an article!Technical & adminUser loginNavigationTaken in Hand articles
Taken In Hand accolades“This website is just what I have been looking for for ages--but did not even know it! Have become weary of [other] sites, etc. They never really properly address the psychological components, all the subtleties [...] [A]nyway, thanks so much for existing, I have been telling my friends...hope your website sticks around forever!” “Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.” “[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Taken In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many [men] will even think to aspire to.” “Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.” “I have referred hundreds of people to [the Taken In Hand] site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.” “First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.” “[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal “I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.” “Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, [...], in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.” “Taken In Hand: Fascinating... blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!” “The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.” “It's a great site.” “If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)” “great site.” “There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.) “[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website...” “[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site” “[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.” “[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with [control], and pleasure. [...] The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.” “Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.” “[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.” “[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!” “[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.” “As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting [a Taken In Hand relationship]” “I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.” “Wow. This site is so amazing.” ““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website [...] [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.” “[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences” “A very cool site” “Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women” “a great site” “an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].” “fantastic site” “Intéressant à lire” “Un site remarquable” “[Y]our site rocks!” “Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful [...]” “a wonderful site” “the best there is” “The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.” “What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.” “GREAT site” “Website of the Month” Other |
Si vis pacem, para bellumSi vis pacem, para bellum (which means: if you want peace, prepare for war) is good advice for any man aspiring to take his woman in hand. Not because she is unwilling – for if she is, then he should not do it – but because this Roman maxim expresses an insight about human psychology that he might need in this Taken In Hand adventure. What does si vis pacem, para bellum mean in this context? It doen't mean get ready to do battle, or you'll have a fight on your hands, like in many conventional relationships. It is nothing to do with anything unpleasant, like fighting and bad feeling. It is about fun and adventure and excitement. It means that a man needs to be able to handle his wife. It means that in the event of any resistance he would be willing and able to act decisively, firmly and thoroughly. Rather than going into his cave, or having a tantrum, he would take action. He would take her in hand and set her straight. Note that I say would. The counterfactual form was deliberate. Si vis pacem, para bellum means that by being prepared to be firm, to take her in hand, to take action, he makes it much less likely that he will encounter resistance or rebellion in the first place. In an intimate relationship, what many a Taken In Hand women wants is to feel certain that whatever happens, her husband is not in any danger of being overpowered by her. She doesn't want to have to tip-toe around all the time lest she inadvertently crush him. She wants to be able to be fully herself instead of having to tone herself down all the time, and she wants to know without any doubt that her husband can handle her, even the full her in all her power. She needs to know this, otherwise she cannot relax, and never feels peaceful. Being able to handle her implies being prepared to take action in the event that the woman gets out of hand. Whining and complaining will not cut it. Nor will rage or spiteful comments calling into question her femininity, her womanhood, or (if she regards herself as submissive) her submissiveness. Such responses seem weak and passive. She needs to feel that her man is active and strong – stronger than she. The action necessary depends on the individual woman, the individual man, and how they interact with each other. For some, the physical manifestation of the man's power is important; for others, it is the psychological aspect that is more important. But the idea that the woman will necessarily be constantly fighting and resisting her husband's control for ever even though she wants a Taken In Hand relationship with him is, as I have argued before, untenable. The knowledge that her husband can and will take firm and thorough action to enforce his will releases the Taken In Hand woman from the need to resist. She can relax. She feels safe. She is no longer consumed with the fear that she might overpower him. She doesn't need to keep fighting for ever and ever until death do them part. The tamed shrew is at peace – but only when she has been tamed. Recall Kate's monologue in The Taming of the Shrew. Some men have a commanding presence without even trying. Like my favourite teacher at school, some never actually have to take any action, because they naturally command obedience. But in most cases, the woman might need some kind of evidence that he is strong enough not to let her walk all over him. Words are not always enough. Actions speak louder than words. Weak words begging and nagging the woman to be more submissive or obedient are unlikely ever to be enough. The man who calmly takes his woman's resistance in his stride and takes firm and decisive action is the kind of man who can provoke in even the strongest, most alpha woman worshipful adoration and a wholehearted desire to submit. He is the man who truly knows peace. Si vis pacem, para bellum. Taken In Hand Tour start | next Have you seen the following articles? Who says you have to be submissive? Could you be a slave, owned, property? He owns it all... Do you have unrealistic expectations? The erotic power of unshackled male power Is spanking always sexual? How to not to please a Taken In Hand customer! Asserting dominance physically forcefully Power connectivity Is she afraid of losing control? Topping from the bottom? 2005 Oct 16 - 20:03 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article | permanent link
|