When one views an older movie where the man puts a woman over his knee, what is it about such a scene that excites the viewer, especially the female viewer? In a scene from one of my wife's favorite older films, “It Happened One Night”, an exasperated Clark Gable grabs hold of the spoiled heiress, Claudette Colbert, throws her over his shoulder and gives her a couple of good swats on her behind. For a woman who is used to getting her own way she is at first outraged, but eventually pleased that he would be so audacious to do such a thing. However, the viewer not only approves of Gable's action but also knows that the heiress, despite her pleas to the contrary, is thrilled to have a real man take her in hand. The scene is meant to be amusing, but cannot help but be titillating. I suppose one could argue this is simply a film, a piece of fantasy, not to be taken seriously. Yet, why do so many women enjoy these scenes of a real man conquering a woman? For the women who strongly desires to be taken in hand this scene has real meaning because the man did not ask permission, he did not need to be coached, and he acted decisively.
Consensual non-consent, an awkward term for what I believe to be an essential part of a taken in hand relationship, is what makes these scenes work and in real life makes a woman weak in the knees. For a woman, the power of a taken in hand relationship lies in her man's authority to take her in hand whenever he deems it necessary. It is a powerful moment for the woman, not only because the man has taken her in hand, but because it demonstrates his authority to sanction her behavior. The wife who is thrilled by her husband's authority, upon being told she needs a spanking, may protest her husband's “unfair” and audacious decision. While being spanked she may even plead for him to stop. However, the wise and experienced man ignores her pleas knowing that this is what she needs and is what she wants.
For those who have read here, or on other sites dedicated to taken in hand relationships, know there are many women who are trying to convince their husbands to take them in hand. Some of these women feel they need to “coach” their husbands in how it should be done. Unfortunately for some of these women they become increasingly frustrated because even though their husband might do as they request, it does not have that je ne sais quois. Why is this so? Simply put, if she is able to “control the control” it loses its power to move her“ She needs to be conquered. She needs to know that despite her argumants and pleas to the contrary she will be taken in hand. She may battle against her man, but secretly, maybe even to herself, wants him to win. She needs to know he is really in charge. This is what makes such scenes in these films excite the viewer and excites the woman who is regularly taken in hand by her man. So despite it being an awkward term, consensual non-consent is an essential part of a taken in hand relationship.