I often see posts from people in the DD community saying things like “punishment spankings are feared and dreaded and in no way erotic” and “there is never any sex after a true punishment spanking” and the like. One of the differences between DD and Taken In Hand is that DD people are urged to take care to separate so-called “erotic” spankings from “real punishment spankings”. D/s people often advocate withdrawing affection or sex as a form of punishment, another thing that is definitely not advocated in Taken In Hand relationships. And both D/s and DD people often stress the need for the man never to spank in anger.
This might work for some people, but personally I only find spankings erotic if they are for punishment, I do not find purely “erotic” spankings erotic at all. If they are purely for enjoyment then I don't really enjoy them.
I tend to get punished for anything that my husband is annoyed by. The more annoyed he is the more soundly I tend to get spanked, but it isn't generally anything very drastic. Usually it's something like me having let the children do something he's said they're not to, or me forgetting to do something I'm supposed to. or it might be rudeness or sulkiness or disobedience. And he generally spanks me when he's still angry, otherwise much of the point of the spanking would be lost. If he waited until his anger had passed, then there wouldn't be a lot of point in him spanking me, since getting rid of his anger is one of the main reasons for the spanking.
And my husband will certainly have sex with me afterwards if he feels like it—it would never occur to him not to. I tend to be feeling very submissive, and therefore very sexy after I am spanked, and he is usually happy to take advantage of that. When he as sex with me I feel he is asserting his dominance over me, just as he is when he spanks me, and I love that. I would hate it if I thought he was deliberately withholding sex from me as some sort of punishment. That would tend to create barriers rather than bring them down.
However, there is no way he would ever sooth my bottom after spanking it, he tends to make me lie on it afterwards, and he also likes to squeeze it and scratch it in order to increase the pain, he doesn't think I should get any pain relief!