Saying so

I have moved slowly within my relationship and thankfully I am with a man who understands and can be patient with me. I've enjoyed the interplay we have when he displays his take-charge nature and I resist. Yet recently, I began to wonder, why am I resisting what I seem to enjoy and want?

So I told him that I believe I no longer want to resist. That it would be a challenge because I am independent. Yet it feels I am ready for this challenge.

As always, he patiently listened and discussed with me. I so love this man.

He said to me, "You know it is what you want" and I heard myself quietly answer "yes". He said to "give it up" (the resistance) and accept this and how special what we have is.

He answered my concern that giving up some of my independence could make me a little dependant with a simple "so what?"

To him, this is all as natural as riding a horse.

I can't begin to explain how this makes me feel inside, how admitting that I want to stop resisting leaves me feeling breathless yet also calm. It is a new direction and I don't know what the journey will really hold. Yet oddly, it feels right.


Taken In Hand Tour start | next


Patience Is a Virtue

Like commitment, patience is one of those necessary but hard to define intangibles a successful relationship. When, were, and how to best employ it is more art than science.

All too often, as someone wrote years ago, "Too many men expect too much too soon and give too little too late." Sadly, it is true.


Noone you are right when you say it is true that too many men expect too much too soon and give too little. It my case however it was me doing the expecting.
It is how I have been throughout the different stages of my taken in hand relationship. Pushing and pushing for how I wanted it to be, and being frustrated that he was not "just doing it". I have realised that I was giving very little just demanding that he be this combination of all of the best bits of men I'd read about.
I have so often wanted to give up on it feeling he was not strong enough to dominate me as he did not live up to my idealised image. Something kept me hanging on in there though. He has an inner strength a quiet dominance that refused to be moulded into how I wanted it to be. I have now stopped pushing for what I want. There is no point: he will be what he will be and nothing that I do will change that and I'm as so very glad of it. I have very recently, in the last week or so, gained the courage to let go and trust him to look after my soft inner core. It is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done because it will leave me so vulnerable to him but I trust him to protect and defend it with all of his might.

Feeling safe being controlled


I also have moved slowly in my relationship and now feel much more comfortable being controlled as a result. I still resist though, and I wondered about myself while reading your article. I wondered if I will finally reach that place that you are residing in, and I hope that eventually I will.

I have a patient man who never fails to listen to what I have to say also and, like you, I so love my man. He has recently been stepping up his control of me though and it has been interesting how that helps to keep my resistance more in check.

I like Noone's article about men and patience, and I would suggest to any man looking for a woman to have a Taken In Hand relationship with to employ that strategy with much enthusiasm so as to make the woman feel safe and loved while at the same time allowing her to wrap her head around the fact that this is the type of man she fell in love with and this is the type of relationship she is going to have with him.

Good for you Smitten and job well done from your man!