I have moved slowly within my relationship and thankfully I am with a man who understands and can be patient with me. I've enjoyed the interplay we have when he displays his take-charge nature and I resist. Yet recently, I began to wonder, why am I resisting what I seem to enjoy and want?
So I told him that I believe I no longer want to resist. That it would be a challenge because I am independent. Yet it feels I am ready for this challenge.
As always, he patiently listened and discussed with me. I so love this man.
He said to me, "You know it is what you want" and I heard myself quietly answer "yes". He said to "give it up" (the resistance) and accept this and how special what we have is.
He answered my concern that giving up some of my independence could make me a little dependant with a simple "so what?"
To him, this is all as natural as riding a horse.
I can't begin to explain how this makes me feel inside, how admitting that I want to stop resisting leaves me feeling breathless yet also calm. It is a new direction and I don't know what the journey will really hold. Yet oddly, it feels right.