To some people, a Taken In Hand relationship is only real if the man asserts his authority over the woman against her will, and if he spanks her against her will, and if she fights him every step of the way. If she consents then it is not real and means the woman is really in charge.
I don't believe this. It would never have occurred to my husband to spank me for punishment if I had not suggested it (very tentatively) to him. The fact that he took to the idea with great enthusiasm surprised and (at first) somewhat disconcerted me, but I soon got used to it, and found that being spanked for punishment was ultimately much more satisfying (if more painful) than being spanked purely for pleasure.
The fact that I consent to him doing this does not mean, to me at any rate, that I am really in charge. He decides when, where, how often, how long, how hard etc, he is going to spank me, and I have no say in any of that whatsoever. I don't know what would happen if I tried to call it off because I never have tried, and can't imagine doing so. But that still does not make it any less real to me.
If I was always fighting and struggling and protesting when my husband spanked me I think he would find it quite exhausting and stressful, and would probably get fed up with doing it. The idea of introducing punishment spanking into our relationship was to reduce stress between us rather than increasing it, which constant resistance on my part would probably do.
I always used to enjoy those films when the girl gets spanked by the infuriated hero against her will, I always used to imagine being that girl. But I always knew it would not really be against my will, because I would really want him to do it. I used to love the spanking scenes in I Love Lucy but I never confused them with reality, because I Love Lucy is clearly not a mirror of reality. And furthermore, Lucy is a terrible example of a Taken In Hand wife, because she never pays the slightest attention to anything Ricky says to her. She is always intent on getting her own way, and quite often does.
If my husband spanks me because he wants to (as he does) it is also because he knows I want him to as well. That he knows I take pleasure in him asserting his authority over me does not make it any less real, to me or to him. Reality is in the eye of the beholder. What is “real” is whatever makes a marriage work more smoothly, and if it is by the consent of both parties, then so much the better.
Have you seen the following articles?
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