Taking a woman in hand is not an act of selfless sacrifice. It is a loving thing between the two of you. There is no reason why you should not take pleasure in it.
Yes, it feels manipulative to put a woman over your lap or to take charge of her or make decisions for her. But, as long as you are doing it in a way that is good for her and that she wants and needs, go ahead and enjoy it.
Allow your ego to get stroked by the process. Enjoy the look and feel of her round, soft, feminine body. Savor the sounds of her crying and the feel of her tears on your neck. “Take” her every once in a while. Ask her to do things for you.
Don't get carried away, i.e. don't turn her into a servant or degrade her. On the other hand, do not feel that you need to be a monk or to deny yourself the pleasure of the whole thing.
If being Taken in Hand is something that she wants and/or needs, and if you are giving her what she wants, the pleasure of doing it is part of your reward.
Have you seen the following articles?
Women want men who are more dominant
Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy
It's sexual even when it's not
Never do without sex again
There is no knight in shining armour
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Ever-deepening total love
Each to his own
Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be