For a while we have had a thing whre I wrote something in hubby's diary if I was feeling disconnected etc. Then someone gave me the idea that this kind of journalling could be used to note positive things as well. For example, last night he quietly told me off for poking him in the ribs and told me that I was never to do again.
It was no big drama and no punishment was had but to me it was a real step forward.
Previously this step forward would have been forgotten, but by me putting it in his diary, saying what a positive thing it was, it is there as a reminder to both of us of one of the many times he has got it right.
I think this could be a good way forward for us. Does anyone else do anything similar to this? I know that lots of people do journalling but I'm thinking more of the idea of jotting down the little things that let your husband/wife know when an action has had a positive effect.