Why avoid pursuing a man?

If you are a woman wanting to find a man with whom to have a Taken In Hand relationship, do not pursue him in any way: let him pursue you or not, as he chooses. He who pursues is the man of the relationship, and take-charge men need to be the man of the relationship. You might have met a perfectly lovely chap who enjoys being pursued, but he is never going to be the man of the relationship. Yes I know it's frustrating to have to be passive when you are a go-getter sort of person, but it is the only way if you want to be sure not to end up in a miserable relationship that works for neither of you.

To be a man in a Taken In Hand relationship is to be the engine in a ship - if you’re not running then the boat isn’t going anywhere

In this love letter to his wife, Trife draws attention to the importance of actively engaging in a marriage if you want the relationship to be a good one.

I am an animal!

The dominant male in animal dominance hierarchies achieves his status by actively dominating, decisively overcoming all challenges to his position. Husbands, take note. Wives—at least those of a Taken In Hand persuasion—really want you to be firm with them, as Mrs Lucky's brilliant article makes clear.

Taken In Hand relieves tension and increases goodwill

In a perfect world, no one would get angry or bear grudges and any problems arising would be solved instantly, but in the real world, in real relationships, life is not always quite so perfect, and spouses sometimes make mistakes. The Taken In Hand idea doesn't just take this into account, it provides a brilliant—not to mention exciting—solution to the problems and tensions of real life in real relationships.

How I overcame my obsessive-compulsive disorder

Contrary to what many believe, control in a relationship can be genuinely useful and good. For individuals with this inclination it has the power to solve real, intractable problems and even to treat or diminish the symptoms of OCD, BPD etc that make life so miserable otherwise. This, of course, goes against everything social workers have been taught, but the facts speak for themselves.


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