The man ordering for the woman in restaurants
Since we began a Taken In Hand relationship, one of the things I have loved the most is when Rich orders for me in a restaurant. Of course, he asks me what I want before the server arrives at the table for the order. But he is the one who says, “She will have......” This is a huge turn on for me!
I also love it when he opens doors, asks me if I am chilly, or any of those gentlemanly gestures.
I guess these gestures are confirmations to me that he is there for me and concerned about my welfare. The ordering is a taking charge thing – he is speaking for me.
When he does or says these things for me, it makes me feel loved which definitely makes me feel more submissive which makes him feel more like a man, etc...etc...
It just all works together for me.
Have you seen the following articles?
The carrot or the stick?
Happy living in fear of a man?!
Barbie is the doll, Ken is just an accessory.
Empowering dominance
A gentle giant who loves and serves the woman he leads
My wife cherishes me
Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!
Being able to be open and honest about my feelings
Knights earn the name
Secretary: the film
Comments
#1 Ordering in restaurants
I'm glad you enjoy these things, but they're not the sort of things that do anything for me. My husband doesn't go in for making chivalrous gestures, but he is always doing practical things that make my life easier, and I really appreciate that.
It would never occur to him to order for me in a restaurant, but he would spend a long time cooking something for dinner that he knows I like, for instance. And he'd never open a car door for me, but he'd spend hours driving me somewhere he knew I wanted to go.
#2 I like both!
Like Lisa, I love the idea of being ordered for in a restaurant (especially if I end up with what I want!)
And I also love the sound of the things Louise's husband does for her. Those things would really mean a lot to me too.
There may be differences between the two cases, but they are both lovely, in my view.
#3 different things for different folks
I love being pamaperd, having a door opened for me, being helped into my coat, but I do not think I would love having my partner making a choice of what I would like to eat in a restaurant. My appeite and my mood varies, how could he possibly anticipate?
Food is very important to me and it is like sex, you never know what you are ordering.
tabata
#4 Problem solved
Tabata said that she does not like being ordered for, because she might not get what she wants. Totally understandable! But if you read what Lisa wrote, you will see that that problem was already solved in her piece:
I agree that it is wise in many cases for the man to ask what the woman wants.
#5 I also like both
I love anything that my man sees fit to do for me, especially if I don't have to ask. I love that he opens my car door and other doors for me. I like that he will purposefully move me to the non street side or that he thinks of things like making sure I have my purse. I also love that he comes to help me with the groceries when he is home without being asked and that he offers to do things that I am not capable of without batting an eye. I love all the things he does for me whether they are practical things or just silly, chivalrous gestures. I don't see that it needs to be a choice and I am glad my husband does both.
As for ordering for me in a restaurant, for us it is a practical thing. Sometimes when I am out of balance, my anxiety gets the better of me and I can't talk to strangers. No, not even to order at a restaurant. The phone is a big problem for me, too, sometimes. There have been times, when I was alone that I have left the restaurant without ordering because I simply couldn't do it and I have stood in line at the grocery store cringing at the idea that the clerk might ask me a question or try to talk to me.
My husband almost always asks what I am having anyway, just out of curiosity. So when he asks, if I need him to order, I will simply say, "Tell her I will have..." or if not I will just say, "I was thinking of having..." or something like that. Then it is up to him to decide if he will order for me or not. Sometimes he will order for me even if I don't need him to, especially if we are in a fancier restaurant.
He knows to order vegetables and no carbs but he always has to ask me about salad dressing-not just for me but for himself to! He has this mental block that he can't seem to remember what the salad dressing he likes is called. It is even funnier to me because we both always take ranch on the side. =)
Otter*
"The moment that I looked into your eyes, you owned me."
-Kenny Chesney
#6 Submission comes in all flavors..
I loved this article. It reminds me of what Gary started and we do to this very day. I know that some couples do not need or want simple shows of affection or even consider them affection at all.
[For more of this, see How to not to please a Taken In Hand customer! - Editor]
#7 Occasionally when we are out
Occasionally when we are out to eat I’ll ask my husband to just order for me whatever he thinks I'll want. I’ve only done it once or twice. I was in such a completely surrendered state that I would have enjoyed whatever he ordered for me just because he ordered it. I like almost all foods so I am pretty easy to please besides he knows my food preferences after so many years. I don't think he particularly likes ordering for me because he doesn't want to get me something I won't like. So far it's worked out fine though. I always like what he orders for me. I always feel so relaxed and happy at those moments. I think the next time we go out again I'll ask him if he'll order for me again. I had forgotten how much I liked it.
#8 women like being controlled by a man
Could we sum this up as women like being controlled by a man?
#9 Like being controlled?
You could sum it up as saying that some women like being controlled by a man, some women might see it simply as courtesy rather than control, and some women (me for instance) would simply find it very irritating. You can't lump all women together into one category, because I for one am left completely cold by this sort of thing, it does nothing for me either as control or as courtesy.
#10 Fine points
It's all in how you perceive it. My wife orders for herself most of the time -- though I think she wants to try having me order (not choose, mind you, there's a difference) for her just because it never occurred to us and sounds a little sexy -- but I still control the transaction with the server. I make sure the server gets her order right and I'll usually order extras like appetizers that I know she'll like.
#11 You obviously haven't found a real man yet
It all depends on the man who does it.
If you keep up this thinking, you will never experience what my girlfriends have experience.....a submission orgasm...complete surrender to the man who controls her. You will never know what it is like to be aroused all the time simply because of the way you are being treated.
A man should NEVER EVER mistreat a female...there is no need.
If you would like some free counseling so you can find a man to truly fullfill your deepest female desires and needs (many you don't even realize), let me know. I will be more than happy to sort this out for you.
#12 Females
Any man crass enough to refer to women as 'females' is not a man I could ever imagine having any kind of sexual pleasure with. And a man who beat my butt if I opened a door would not be a man who would get far enough to give me one, I assure you. And I won't be told what I can order in a restaurant either. I'm quite capable of reading a menu for myself, strange as it may seem.
I frankly don't believe in all these 'females' you've said you've had, I don't believe any of them exist outside your imagination.
#13 Problem Solved
The first time my man ordered for me when we ate out. I was a little shocked at first and then relieved. I always order what I think I want, but then something someone else has ordered always looks better and I regret ordering it. My man asks me about my likes and dislikes and goes from there. It feels wonderful that he takes that in hand for me. And I have not disliked one thing yet.
#14 Restaurant Ordering
Early in our relationship, on our first real date in fact, we stopped in for dinner at an ethnic restaurant. It was a place I would never have gone to. Very nice, but not my taste. Yet, when he suggested it, I was open to the adventure. I am a picky eater and not that fond of meat to the point that some dishes can make me feel squeamish.
We discussed the menu, and most of the items were well beyond my taste, so we ordered a sampler plate where several entrees are served on one dish. When the waitress placed the dish on the table, one of the entrees I would not have eaten was in front of me.
My dear man took one look at my face, reached his hand to the plate and swiveled it so something more pleasing to my palate was now facing me. I smiled. He understood without my saying a word.
And the beautiful blossoming of unspoken trust began.
Smitten
#15 I'm glad you enjoy these thin
I'm glad you enjoy these things, but they're not the sort of things that do anything for me. I love being pampered, having a door opened for me, being helped into my coat like what I have experienced in a Hollywood restaurant, but I do not think I would love having my partner making a choice of what I would like to eat in a restaurant. It's a NO NO!!! :)
#16 A matter or etiquette... etc..
I am so excited to post on something I truly find to be one of the fun parts of the Taken In Hand life...
I love it when my man orders for me and recently read that it is actually considered proper etiquette to do so. Few men are aware of this and I find it to be a particularly endearing trait.
I went out with one gentleman a few months back and was very impressed that not only did he order my dinner, but he also kept my drinks full (ice water, etc).
Dare I say, it is now one of the things I appreciate so much that I almost expect it.
~Island Kitten~
#17 I actually have a very hard
I actually have a very hard time choosing what to order. I can usually narrow it down to 2 things. So when my husband orders for me, it's very helpful. It's also a turn on for me also. It's not about the meal it's about the dominant behavior he shows. I wish he did this on his own more often. I often have to tell him to just order for me. Which takes away from the dominance.
#18 Choosing in restaurants
I don't get to eat in restaurants very often, and when I do I enjoy perusing the menu and deciding for myself what I want to eat. A man who doesn't even let a woman choose for herself what to have to eat is taking control a bit too far, in my opinion.
Louise
#19 husband ordering for me in a restaurant
I also want to choose what I feel like eating, but if my husband asked me what I wanted, and then ordered it for me, I would enjoy that.