I'm glad you enjoy these things, but they're not the sort of things that do anything for me. My husband doesn't go in for making chivalrous gestures, but he is always doing practical things that make my life easier, and I really appreciate that.

It would never occur to him to order for me in a restaurant, but he would spend a long time cooking something for dinner that he knows I like, for instance. And he'd never open a car door for me, but he'd spend hours driving me somewhere he knew I wanted to go.

I love being pamaperd, having a door opened for me, being helped into my coat, but I do not think I would love having my partner making a choice of what I would like to eat in a restaurant. My appeite and my mood varies, how could he possibly anticipate?

Food is very important to me and it is like sex, you never know what you are ordering.

tabata

I love anything that my man sees fit to do for me, especially if I don't have to ask. I love that he opens my car door and other doors for me. I like that he will purposefully move me to the non street side or that he thinks of things like making sure I have my purse. I also love that he comes to help me with the groceries when he is home without being asked and that he offers to do things that I am not capable of without batting an eye. I love all the things he does for me whether they are practical things or just silly, chivalrous gestures. I don't see that it needs to be a choice and I am glad my husband does both.

As for ordering for me in a restaurant, for us it is a practical thing. Sometimes when I am out of balance, my anxiety gets the better of me and I can't talk to strangers. No, not even to order at a restaurant. The phone is a big problem for me, too, sometimes. There have been times, when I was alone that I have left the restaurant without ordering because I simply couldn't do it and I have stood in line at the grocery store cringing at the idea that the clerk might ask me a question or try to talk to me.

My husband almost always asks what I am having anyway, just out of curiosity. So when he asks, if I need him to order, I will simply say, "Tell her I will have..." or if not I will just say, "I was thinking of having..." or something like that. Then it is up to him to decide if he will order for me or not. Sometimes he will order for me even if I don't need him to, especially if we are in a fancier restaurant.

He knows to order vegetables and no carbs but he always has to ask me about salad dressing-not just for me but for himself to! He has this mental block that he can't seem to remember what the salad dressing he likes is called. It is even funnier to me because we both always take ranch on the side. =)

Otter*

"The moment that I looked into your eyes, you owned me."
-Kenny Chesney

Occasionally when we are out to eat I’ll ask my husband to just order for me whatever he thinks I'll want. I’ve only done it once or twice. I was in such a completely surrendered state that I would have enjoyed whatever he ordered for me just because he ordered it. I like almost all foods so I am pretty easy to please besides he knows my food preferences after so many years. I don't think he particularly likes ordering for me because he doesn't want to get me something I won't like. So far it's worked out fine though. I always like what he orders for me. I always feel so relaxed and happy at those moments. I think the next time we go out again I'll ask him if he'll order for me again. I had forgotten how much I liked it.

You could sum it up as saying that some women like being controlled by a man, some women might see it simply as courtesy rather than control, and some women (me for instance) would simply find it very irritating. You can't lump all women together into one category, because I for one am left completely cold by this sort of thing, it does nothing for me either as control or as courtesy.

Exactly right...but most women don't realize it.
I have had many girlfriends precisely because of the way I treat them. Many who didn't know how much they craved it until I started treating them this way...suddenly they are aroused all the time.
I have rules that must be followed after they agree to be in a relationship with me, and they are punished if rules are broken. Females are not aloud to open any doors...and I have beaten the butts of some who have not followed that.

A man does as he pleases...a female does as she pleases......
until her man tells her what to do. Then she immediately drops whatever she is doing, says "yes, sir" obediently, and does as she was told to do. The relationship is much smoother that way, and I never have to worry about her being aroused because she is exploring her real female self. There is no greater pleasure for a human female than a submission orgasm...complete surrender to the man who controls her.
I decide whether sex occurs.."no" is not an option for a female. If one ever says no, they are tied up and become intimately familiar with my belt.

If you want to discuss this more, I will help you find a man who will fulfill your deepest real female desires.

I guess you're the guy with the 6 rules.
All I can say is, I feel sorry for "all" your girlfriends.
Complete surrender to the man I love and to whom I`m his one and only, yes. But somebody who has a bunch of other women on the side. NO WAY!!!
If I were single and I ran into a man like you, I wouldn`t even go as far as having a cup of coffee with him.

Autumn

Hi, I was trying to see your side of things so hard when reading your post. And frankly, I understand where you come from. But I also know that it's near impossible to just 'jump instantly' into such a relationship. In fact Gary has many similar rules for me. No is not an option for me at the best of times, yet it does simply pop out of my mouth sometimes.

He has no need to tie me up and use his belt. He will come over me and quietly talk to me and 'adjust' the way I am thinking. And as far as sex goes, he is the who decides when and where. Yet he also tells me I am not a machine. Some days just don't work out as well as others. And yes, I do wait now for him to open the doors, and on the occasion my hand just slips out and opens that door, he notes it out loud, but again, it's not a punishment. And somehow I still find myself submitting to him completely. And I do deeply submit to him.

This is our life. Not a game, not a relationship that may end one day. This is forever. And it is serious. Yes as with all serious things, we find the humor. And he has laughing till I pee sometimes with the outrageous things I do considering I am submissive to him. And while we are starting the 7th year of our marriage, things are very smooth indeed. But I have the feeling that while I am equal to him in many ways, his word is final.

I suppose the difference between us and others, is everything, every tiny thing is done with love, with my benefit in mind. If I can't cope with it, it doesn't happen. Our commitment to each rivals that if we need to stop our D/s relationship and become something else, we are equally committed. Our love does never stop. The foundation is not dominance nor submission. The foundation is love.

....Blush

"I decide whether sex occurs.."no" is not an option for a female. If one ever says no, they are tied up and become intimately familiar with my belt.
If you want to discuss this more, I will help you find a man who will fulfill your deepest real female desires."

You know this attitude could get you in trouble. I submit to my boyfriend because I love him but no other man has ever controled me and I know women that are very dominant...so don't assume all women want what you are offering. Sex without an option is rape and you cn hurt a woman deeply that way. Maybe you need to stop being selfish and look towards her needs and you would not have many girlfriends but one special one.

The first time my man ordered for me when we ate out. I was a little shocked at first and then relieved. I always order what I think I want, but then something someone else has ordered always looks better and I regret ordering it. My man asks me about my likes and dislikes and goes from there. It feels wonderful that he takes that in hand for me. And I have not disliked one thing yet.