Holding coats and opening doors

My husband and I were on a road trip, crossing the Rockies on a cold night in December. We came into a small town in western Colorado, found a motel, and then went out to the town's one good restaurant (logs, stone, big fireplace, bar, steaks) for a late supper.

The table next to ours was occupied by a large family group of maybe a dozen, evidently gathered for a birthday. My husband – tall, broad-shouldered, bearded, dashing and dark in his black hat and duster – caught the fascination of girl at that table (she was maybe 10 or 11), and she kept looking across at him all through our dinner.

As we prepared to leave, my Big Guy got our coats. After buttoning himself up, he swathed me back into my long alpaca coat, and snugged my muffler around my neck. He noticed the girl watching at him again – this time in astonished curiosity. He got this funny twinkle in his eyes, set his hat firmly on his head, tugged on his gloves, and abuptly turned and strode over to the young lady.

He bent over low, briefly whispered something in her ear, and returned to me with a flourish. He was grinning.

“What did you tell her?” I asked him.

“I told her that she should never, ever, ever put up with a man who won't help her with her coat.”

My father told me similar things when I was a girl. Holding coats, opening doors, and fetching and carrying are ways that men demonstrate that they are watchful, protective, and caring. Such manners are the mark of a dominant man who knows that his strength is only of use when he puts it into the service of others. As such, they're a useful signal that a man may be worthy of a woman's submission and trust.

This is why my son been opening my doors and carrying packages for me since he was four. It's not that I can't do this stuff for myself. He and his stepdad are both well aware that I can. It's that he needs to feel that he is strong and useful, and know that his greatest power lies in putting that strength into the service of his family.

Aurora (Mercuria)

Take the Taken In Hand tour


Have you seen the following articles?
Too feminine?
If I asked for the moon...
Total obedience?
Does being submissive mean not saying what you think?
Communication, consent and connection
The exquisite pleasure of childlikeness in a woman
The missionary position
Give the right impression?
Do you have unrealistic expectations?
Can you be Taken In Hand if you're not submissive?

Holding coats and opening doors

These are social customs which used to be commoner than they are now, but which were simply signs of superficial good manners, I would not consider them evidence of a man being particularly caring, I once knew a man who went in for opening doors, helping me on with my coat etc, but was an absolute shit.

As for not putting up with a man who didn't open door and help me on with my coat, well, if I'd taken that advice I'd never have got married! Superficial social courtesies are not a good way to tell if a man is reliable, strong, dominant, or anything else.

Aurora!

Your husband is DEFINITELY a keeper! Give him a VBK from me (very big kiss ;)

It is articles like these that restore my faith that maybe, just maybe there are still decent men out there for my daughters one day!

Chivalry is NOT dead!

Wow! If there was ever a better description of how a man shows RESPECT for a woman, I haven't heard it.

Thank you, Aurora, for reminding us all that men desire, more than anything, to be of use and service to the women they love!

funny

I had to chuckle at that post louise..even though I know you were serious ;) smile...

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