It's like this, beloved: I need to be spanked

Owing to some misunderstandings in regard to this piece, may I stress that this is fiction: it was inspired by a question posed on one of the DD groups by a woman with a husband who sounds lovely but who had not cottoned on to her desire for a serious whipping now and again. I myself do not have a husband of any description, I am single!

My dear husband,

I have something to tell you. This is possibly the most important letter I have ever written to you. OK, OK, so it is the only letter I have ever written to you – but humour me, will you? This is important.

No, I haven't been up to no good with the milkman (though that strapping young man who is his son might be difficult to resist!), and no, I don't have any (more) complaints about you, and no, I haven't gone to the Dark Side and joined a religious cult or started using Microsoft products.

I don't know whether you have noticed, but I have been a pain in the backside lately. Actually, you don't seem to have noticed. And you know what? One of the things I totally love about you is that you are so serene, unruffled, and even-tempered. I love how you never lose your calm – it makes me feel so safe and relaxed and happy. Never change!

But given your marvellous imperturbability, I have realised that I need to be more direct when making requests. Telling you in words would be a good start. You can't be expected to be a mind reader – though you so often seem to know what I'm thinking... especially the other night when you.... well anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Important Information to Impart.

Do you remember the other day when you were lying on your front watching that that old black and white film I wanted us to see – The Vagabond King – and you thought I must either have got the wrong film or that I must have completely lost my marbles?

And you know how, when you complained and wanted to watch the rugby instead, I grabbed that wooden ruler and whacked you on the bottom with it? (Yeah, like you could forget that!)

Well the good news is, I haven't turned violent, I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. I wanted you to get physical with me, really physical. I wanted to experience your considerable size and strength in a bit of old-fashioned wrestling roly-poly rough-and-tumble slap-and-tickle – with the emphasis on the “slap” bit.

What am I driving at?

Goodness, this is difficult!

I want you to put me over your knee (or on the bed, on the couch, or anywhere really) and – not to put too fine a point on it – give me a jolly good thrashing; and then give me a jolly good seeing-to, as only you can. And I don't mean just a one-off: I'd like this as often as your age, inclination, health issues, work commitments, and required TV viewing, will allow.

Incidentally, when I say “thrashing”, I mean hard, using all your strength! Really! (Just think, you can get an arm workout without going to the gym!) And I mean everything from spanking to whipping.

I know you wondered if I'd taken up riding when you saw that I'd bought a riding crop. And you must have thought it a bit odd that I suddenly felt the urge to buy a set of extra strong wooden spoons – obviously, it couldn't be for cooking, given my singular lack of interest in that department! And then there is the old-fashioned schoolmaster's cane that appeared on your night table and that you asked me to remove. You didn't wonder about that at all?

And since I am coming clean here, you know how I've been behaving more and more like an irresponsible schoolgirl of late? You know – I've unaccountably started forgetting to take my mobile phone with me when I go out, I've been not getting enough sleep, and on more than one occasion I have become so engrossed in er… my er… ‘internet research’, that I have quite forgotten the dinner cooking in the oven (hence your recent characteristically mild enquiry about whether there is some medical benefit to be gained by eating charcoal).

Well first let me say once again how much I appreciate your imperturbability. I greatly admire your equanimity in the face of what would have driven lesser men to seek solace in the arms of a divorce lawyer. Forgive me. I don't want to irritate you – and evidently it doesn't work anyway! You're so solid and sensible! My rock! (And gosh, what a rock! Swoon! But enough of these irrelevant digressions.)

The reason I have been doing all these things is not a sign of encroaching menopause or early senility, it is that I have been wanting you to take control and take me in hand, and this was my way of attempting to communicate that to you.

Yes, I know, I know, what's wrong with the direct approach? And how did I expect you to guess this particular interpretation of my out-of-character behaviour? I concede that it hasn't worked at all, and I feel quite silly for having done this, and more than a bit remorseful.

I am so embarrassed! I don't know why, but it has taken a lot of nerve for me to pluck up the courage to tell you this. But now I have, might it be possible for us to talk about it? Do you have any questions? Is this something you could do? Can we have some fun with this?

Yours, as ever,

Etc.

[Husband reads the letter…. I look to see how he is taking it, and wonder how I am ever going to be able to introduce the idea of more serious ‘discipline’ to him if we can't even manage to get to grips with the light-hearted fun variety….]

Hey, you're smiling! Splendid! Oh how lovely! What shall we….
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME DOWN! I didn't mean NOW! Not HERE! Oww! Oww! Hey, that HURT! Cut it out, you big bully! You don't know your own strength!

[Swoon… My hero....]

the boss


Have you seen the following articles?
Secretary: the film
How we got past the year from hell
The worm turns (a little late, but better late than never!)
Happy living in fear of a man?
How it felt to be taken in hand for the very first time
A love letter
The paradox of the strong and submissive woman
What works for us
What easy-to-say word gives every lover pleasure?
Never do without sex again

A lovely letter

A lovely letter - makes me wish I was your husband - you DID say you were not married at the moment? *smiles*

Whoever the lucky man is who gets such a letter, I hope he appreciates it. I do not recognise the reference to the film however - something for me to look up and find out more about.

Lovely thoughts

Random

Dear Random: Yeah, that's ...

Dear Random:

Yeah, that's a cute letter. It made me chuckle. :)

I'm a single woman (age 36 and still cute) looking for love. I'd like to hear more about you -- like how old, where you are, what you do, etc. Maybe we could hook up!!!!

I can't see where to enter my name.

Sherry

If you're not married to a gu...

If you're not married to a guy who enjoys spanking eroticly I fail to see how you'd be able to get him to take the lead and spank you for real. Just my observation................

Erotic spanking

Let's be honest, not everybody who likes erotic spanking has always liked it from the day they were born, right? So they must have GROWN to like it at some point in their lives. If they have, why couldn't some other guy? Hell, I had no idea I like it until I was 43!!

Carol (making up for it now!!)

Hi Sherry

Hi Sherry,

sorry for the delay in responding - I do not visit the site every day (*smiles* - my own fault). For what it is worth, I am 37, 6'3" (with a Jon-Luc Picard hair style ;-) and UK based, West of London... If you would still like to chat, drop an email over to random19668@hotmail.com and I'll give you some more information.

*chuckles* - perhaps we should ask the web-host (the boss?) to start a dating agency on-site?

Stay well,

Random

Jon-Luc Picard hair style

I was just checking out this page, I'm interested and very inexperienced having never dared to let it happen. I really just dropped the line to say that you are soooo lucky, I'm into the Jon-Luc Picard hair style, actually patrick stewart is so sexy! I want the guy who wants you!

True but...

Carol said that men can grow into a liking for spanking but sometimes there's just no spark and even if they spank, it doesn't work for the woman because that spark's missing. Just my observation..... YMMV.

The Spark

Ahh,

now that is the most important thing of all - if there is no spark, then there is no point to spanking. For me, if there is no spark, then rather than being a lovely romantic sharing which builds intimacy, spanking becomes physical assault. I imagine that very few women like being "hit" by a man, but that a surprising number like being spanked by a lover..... I would suggest that it is more than the physical activity of being spanked that women enjoy, but the feeling of strength and dependence on a strong man that such activity engenders.

As for hair styles....... Perhaps I should rename my signature to be Jean-Luc"? (I had the spelling incorrect earlier :-))

Random

Women need to have that spark too

I agree with Helen and Random: if there's no spark, you can't force the issue. This applies to women too. If a woman doesn't get that spark, it's abuse if you try to push a spanking relationship on her.

The real point of my letter

Maybe the point got lost in the form I chose to express it, but what I was trying to say, indirectly, was this:

Sometimes, men (and indeed women) don't take hints. And the reason is not necessarily that they have a policy of not taking hints, it can be that they simply have not realised that you are hinting!

So if you try to provoke your man into spanking you or something, and he fails to respond as you hope and expect him to, instead of concluding that it is a complete waste of time and that you will never get what you want, try just telling him clearly what you want.

Sometimes, the person will say something like: "Oh! I had no idea that that's what you wanted! Why didn't you say so before! I'd be delighted to spank you."

I just think that sometimes, we think someone knows what is in our minds without us telling them, and that sometimes they don't. And something, it pays to be direct and clear instead of assuming that everything is hopeless.

Asking for what you want

I learned about asking for what I want the hard way. First I behaved very badly until we had a huge, yelling, furniture-breaking blow-up. Then I told him that I really wanted to be "taken in hand." After much discussion, I'm pretty sure that next time it won't be the furniture that takes a beating. Paul has taken to erotic spanking like a duck to water, but he's a bit hesitant about spanking me when I'm angry and I don't want him to. I think I've convinced him that I really do want him to, even when it doesn't show on the surface. Anyway, I ended up having to put it into words in the end anyhow, so I should have just started out that way!

Tell Him You Need To Submit

I say you should tell him you need to submit, otherwise he will likely not understand why you want to be taken in hand and spanked. Without submission, spanking will be empty of meaning and unsatisfying. Why is it so many women have a hard time admitting they want to submit?

... or started using Microsoft products.

As far as I'm concerned, this would be sufficient motive to give you exactly what you were looking for.

Lab Rat

Reply to Lab Rat

Here, here!

Issie. (AKA: Linux Fan. & further AKA: Steve-Jobs-Is-G*d)

Asking for what you want

I think women don't ask to be taken in hand, because it's embarrassing! I am horrified that I have these feelings, and I've had them since I was a child. I have had many relationships where a good spanking was THREATENED if I didn't behave, but that left me cold. I had one relationship where he took me over his knee for some misdeed and attempted to take my pants down. I fought him hard and he relented. That, too, left me cold. I am married to a man who has also threatend to spank me but has never followed through. How do I feel about this? Is this something I really want or do I find the FANTASY erotic? If I ask, will I be happy? Will he think I've gone insane and will that ruin things? I honestly don't know. It is nice to know that I am not alone!

Spark of love and chemistry absolutely necessary!

Just found this site today. Sigh, what a relief to have company! I too have had the desire to be spanked since I was a very small girl.

As far as the spark thing goes...love is absolutely essential. My soon to be ex and I married for obligation (a baby) and not love. There was never any chemistry. I proposed spanking but after several months, even that did not save our marriage. Take heed.

My experience

I managed to work up the courage to tell Mr Mouse within the last week that I wanted to be taken in hand and spanked. I had dropped many hints inclduing the usual "you can spank me if you want." when I knew I had done something wrong.

In the end I had to swallow my embarrassment and tell him outright. He admitted that he thought it was what I was getting at, but didn't want to take things any further than the occasional playful swat in case it wasn't what I meant at all.

It was embarrassing and it helped to print off other people's stories from this site that felt personal to me for one reason or another, either because I could relate to that person's feelings or what I would want from Mr Mouse going forward.

My advice would be to any body is to either speak directly or if you are frozen by embarrassment and shame, to write a letter or send an email. But do bear in mind, some people will need thinking time and won't be able to react straight away to your suggestions.

Good luck.

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