An excellent book I'd recommend to all married couples is Gary Smalley's Love Is A Decision. He claims that love is a verb, not an emotion. That tingling feeling you got when you were dating or newlyweds was hormones. True love comes from what you do. When the typical "honeymoon" period is over, and the body's juices stop flowing when you look at the one you've vowed to love, honor, and cherish until death, that does NOT signify the end of a relationship, but rather the beginning.
I remember hearing Gary Smalley talk about his book on the radio one time, and share some of the success stories from married couples to followed his advice.
One woman was married to an alcoholic. She wasn't sure she even still loved him, as his self-destructive behavior was affecting their whole family. She wanted a divorce. After counseling with Gary, she decided to ACT as though she still loved him. She LISTENED to him when he talked. She cooked for him, kept house, stopped nagging... don't remember what all else she did. And for weeks, even months, her husband was just taking all she had to give. But then one day he walked in to Gary's office and said, "I just love my wife so much. Whatever you told her, I don't know, but she has just been giving me so much. I feel special. And I want to do something for her, to show her how much it means to me. What can I do?" And Gary told him to get help with his alcoholism. And he did.
That story made me cry, and I was driving the car! I felt like such a fool, my eyes spilling all down my face, my nose too (I can never cry “pretty” like the actors do on TV), and all because of some soppy story on the radio! But the old adage, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, sure holds true today!