To let go
I have been in a very loving, passionate and stable marriage for 4 years now. We have progressed in our personal relationship from domestic discipline to having a more D/s element. I have all my needs and desires responded to, and our connection couldn't be stronger, although I'm told it's not near as strong as it's going to get.
I get spanked often. Not daily, and not necessarily for misdeeds. But we use spanking to establish our roles, and to create passion that is white hot. We also use spanking as a way to correct behaviour, although we don't use very nasty methods. I am spanked with his hand, a crop, a paddle, and a hairbrush. This is all done with love and intent.
Now, a twist. I am submissive. Not all the time, although we are striving for that. I am completely bedroom submissive though.
My husband is an executive within a corporation. He has a high stress job. He talks and understands and co-ordinates in millions of dollars. All of which I take an interest, to a point. In my words, my biggest interest lays more in “what's my end?” But my husband does come home wired a bit. So, he feels that if he comes home stressed out, and needs to relax, he now wants to spank me. He feels that if I offer my bottom to him, and spanks, crops me, and I encourage him, he will feel lots better.
So, yesterday, he comes home late afternoon from such a meeting. He is so on. His eyes are bright and he zeroes in on me. We have dinner, and he sends our daughter (6 years) off to a friend's to play. He sends me in to rest for a half hour or so. He tidies the kitchen. He then comes in the bedroom, holds me and tells me he needs to spank me to let go.
He undresses me, puts me over his knee and uses the crop. He warms me up first with his hand, but then, he spends the next 20 minutes or so, really cropping me. And the louder I scream, the more he lets go. I am told to encourage him to crop me harder and “don't stop till he feels better”. He never really “thrashes” me, but he does use that crop efficiently. By the end, he lets me up, gives me a drink, and then proceeds to play with me and I am so aroused I literally succumb to the sexuality within seconds.
Afterwards, when we talk, he tells me I have never been cropped so hard before. He feels because I was doing it for him, I could take more. If I were being spanked for behaviour, it changes the feelings, and I can't take it.
Well, the end result...WOW... It was so hot. So, if this is what being submissive means, I am going on this trip never to return. I am so in love with this man who understands my needs so well, and can satisfy his needs by feeding mine. Sometimes life is so good.
Have you seen the following articles?
Do you have a commanding presence?
Each to his own
Help! The one I love nowadays rarely wants sex!
In praise of Fascinating Womanhood
The paradox of the strong and submissive woman
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given me
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
About Schmidt: choose engagement, not withdrawal
What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not
I want it all, and I want it now!
Comments
#1 Wow!
"Well, the end result...WOW... It was so hot. So, if this is what being submissive means, I going on this trip never to return. I am so in love with this man who understands my needs so well, and can satisfy his needs by feeding mine. Sometimes life is so good."
Wow, this is one hot story! Oh the power of submission! It's great that you guys have such a sublime connection. I envy you.
#2 Transition
Blush, that was a very enervating post. My wife is not interested in most aspects of DD, but she is bedroom submissive and your story gives me ideas that are very helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Howard
#3 Great dynamic
I'll add my thanks to Blush for this stimulating post. I too find it a good way to unwind after a strassful day, and my wife loves it. We also find it a good way for me to get out my irritation or anger when there's a problem. It was my wife that persuaded me this is OK. I was worried by it but she was adamant this is one of the main benefits of a relationship in which discipline is sanctioned. What do others think?
#4 Transition...
Hi Howard, thank you for your kind words. When we started our journey of submission, it started in the bedroom as well. Gary felt that I responded best there. It was safe and he felt/feels that when one is in high passion, you can overcome many obstacles that may prevent you otherwise. But when taking this idea to actuality, your wife must be available to submit before she reaches the bedroom.
That is the interesting part of this dynamic.
There are still times I do not in fact consider myself submissive, although it is required of me full time now.
But it really doesn't matter what I think or view myself, because as soon as he says 'Go to the bedroom', I turn around and away I go with no other thoughts attached. Now if that isn't being submissive what is!
Gary has many things he does to cement our sexuality, and as time goes on I'm sure to writing more.
Enjoy Howard and have fun and keep the passion high......Blush
#5 Great Dynamic..
Hi King, your wife is a very perceptive woman if she came up with this dyamic between you. It certainly is a powerful way to connect and a wonderful release for you.
What the strongest element in it for us is love. I put my entire trust into Gary that he loves me and will not hurt me. Relatively speaking of course...lol..
And he is simply in awe of how I love him enough to give this offering.
It is powerful, sexual and so connective, for both of us.
Of course he uses the same technique when I am at odds with the world.
It's really about the connection.
That alone makes the world fall by the wayside.......Blush
#6 Blush and King, THANKS for th
Blush and King, THANKS for this thread. I have got to get my husband to read this. He too, comes home from work all stressed out from the corporate BS, and I would LOVE for him to learn to release by taking me in hand.
He has expressed to me concern that he would lose control, however. Knowing him as well as I do, I really do not think that would ever be a problem, but it worries him.
He also says he is too tired to take me in hand when he comes home from one of these stressful days.
I would love to read comments, especially from you men out there, that focused on his concerns. What could you say to him to encourage him to at least try to pursue this avenue of release.
Thanks
#7 It's all in the sex...
Jayda, your husband has a wonderful woman in you. You are a step ahead of him here.
Gary found that when he arouses me, I can accept a deeper form of discipline. Stronger blows, harder smacks and stripes.
When he uses spanking as his release, there is much build up.
And in this build up, he uses his control to create a safe place for me, and it allows him to use his pent up frustrations in a more controlled way.
He starts with kissing me, arousing me and finally stripping me of all my coverings and armor. And during this stage he builds for us, he finds his control.
And he uses it to satisfy us both.
He for his release, and me for my safety and my connection.
It is intensely strong to accept his strength, submit to his will and to believe and trust in his control.
He has and never will fail either himself or me.
Love is very powerful........Blush
#8 Thanks for the compliment....
And thanks for the info. You and Gary seem to have such a wonderful relationship and I have taken strength from both your posts.
This is what I am looking for, and I totally trust this wonderful man, my love, my best friend, my soulmate.
Nor will my DH.
In "A reader's story: Why I decided to take the dive" which was just posted (see the link in "recent updates"), I describe why I have decided to submit and that I have just given my DH a letter for him to read as a preface to discussion.
That was 3 days ago, and I am still not sure how much he has had time to read. The hectic schedule of our lives this week has not given us time to discuss whether or to what degree we will pursue a D/sHoH relationship.
However, when he came in tonight totally stressed from work, he gave me the feeling that he had at least read this part of the letter, and that he was definitely thinking about it. He first asked where our youngest (15) was, and seemed disappointed that he was at home. At that point, after seeing how angry he was at the day's events, I again was fearful about my decision to submit, but I am not going to back down, at least not yet. The two of us need to talk this out and reach our decision.
Unfortunately, it was late when he came in, and through the maze of dealing with kids, and various phone calls, we didn't really have time to talk much. And he needed to go to sleep early because of the last few late nights he has had working.
I know he needed to de-stress tonight, and I am sorry that life wasn't more accommodating for him despite my fears. I just tried to handle it as best I could at the time by cuddling with him and talking to him in bed until he went to sleep.
We'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings. Will keep you posted.
#9 Choices..
I finished rereading your post Jayda. Now that I have a clear picture of the entire story, my insights are different.
Firstly, you are on the right track. Secondly, not all de-stressers are solved with giving yourself.
Or maybe I should rephrase and say giving yourself by offering your bottom to be spanked.
With us as well, time is an issue, as well as children.
But if I have left something for Gary to comment on, or discuss, he always makes sure I know he has seen it, read it, or what his intentions are.
He never lets me 'wonder' where we are.
This allows me to 'let go' of my anxieties or concerns.
And it also allows my trust in him to do what he feels is right for us.
When the time is right.
Now, to move on.
When Gary is very stressed, and we don't have the time to be as intimate as we need to include spanking?
Well...quite frankly, I give him a blow job.
Sometime I have to almost put one over on him before he allows it.
But he NEEDS something, and I have the something he needs.
And the eroticism of using me is still uppermost.
His release also allows me to connect with him while he recovers.
I often fall into the same drugged sleep for a period of time, as I am so in tune with his feelings.
The spanking will come with proper timing.
Until then he can still chose to use you.
Only, which way?........Blush
#10 Only which way....
Yes, I do the same with my DH as well (this evening, in fact). Up to this point he has not 'chosen' to use my bottom as a release.
As for him taking his time to comment? I gave him that permission with a note on the top of the letter that said "A weeks reading ;)" so that he wouldn't feel pressured. So, in essence, I put myself in this situation.
Actually, as hectic as this week has played out, I am very glad that I gave him that choice. He definitely didn't need anymore pressure.
In fact, I even gave of myself to him by offering to 'run interference' with his dad tomorrow on an issue. I figure, I don't have anything to loose (his dad has never liked me anyway), and I can at least de-stress his week by doing this for him.
Tomorrow night, barring any unforseen roadblocks, our kids will be gone and we will have the entire evening to ourselves. So I should find some answers then. Will keep you posted (assuming I can still 'sit' to type ;)
#11 On the way...
Dearest Jayda, you are so in tune with your husband, he is truly blesssed to have found such a treasure. Really!
You seem to be on top of this entirely, all that's left is the excitement!
Best of luck, or really best of the best. I will keep my fingers crossed that your husband gets it as well as you have.
If he's anything like Gary, he will find fullfillment like none other.
Love...Blush
#12 Update...the weekend
Thanks Blush, you are a sweetheart. Your posts have given me much confidence and encouragemnt.
[I am looking into how to activate the forum feature of this web site but in the meantime, for more from Jayda, see this post. - Editor]