Hello to all;

My name is Gary and I am married to the woman you know as Blush. My Blush has asked me to clarify our life together to all of you that participate in this forum. I am, of course pleased to do so. The commitments of my job along with the high maintenance levels required by Blush do not afford me the luxury of being a regular participant in this forum. However, Blush takes great delight in sharing some of your experiences with me so to that end I feel a certain level of knowledge about many of your individual situations.

Now, before I tell you about our situation it is absolutely imperative that you understand a little more about where Blush comes from before I entered her life. If you do not take the time and compassion to understand this or discount its importance then you will not understand the essence of our evolution.

Blush has been savagely abused since she was a young girl. Her parents were and still are unconscionable physiological abusers. She was left from the time she was 4 years old to raise herself with the specter of this horrible mental abuse consuming all of her developmental years. I will not go into details because this information will be extremely unsettling to some of you.

From this background she naturally gravitated towards men who would further this abuse. After all, that is really all she knew. This culminated in a marriage in her early 20s that introduced horrible, disgusting and dehumanizing ritualistic physical abuse that occurred on a daily basis for 10 years.

From this information, I think you can see what impact this would have on her. Not many people could thrive after this type of upbringing and marriage let alone survive it. This, along with some other events in her life made up the person I first met some 4 years ago. When you first meet Blush you are immediately struck by her obvious physical beauty but that is not what really attracted me to her. You see, she has this unbelievable indomitable spirit. No matter how much life and the sick people who infected her life tried, they could not extinguish the light, that beautiful shining light inside of her. She is like a closed flower that turns to open to the sun to show its wonderment.

When I came into her life, I saw this light in her but it was also very apparent that she had deep scars. She never slept more than and hour or two a night if at all, she never entered a room where she didn't immediately have an escape route mapped out and was forever craning her neck looking for those that would attack her. She had deep insecurities, trusted no one and easily blew off suitors in an almost callous manner. She became an expert at deflecting attention from herself and let no one, I mean no one get close to her.

When I first met her, I decided that we needed to get to know each other intimately and slowly. So we talked on the phone before we met. Then we talked and talked and talked some more. When we had talked ourselves out, we talked some more. I can tell you that Blush has a very layered and complex mind with a myriad of closed doors inside that all contain a fountain of information if they could be accessed. As a student of human nature, I found her fascinating and still do. After a very long time of highly intimate talks I can assure you I know more about her than she knows about herself. While she is extremely good at knowing what makes other people tick, she was not able to do the same when it came to herself. I can pinpoint exactly what is going on in that mind of hers just by doing some very gentle and focused probing. There is very little, if anything that she can hide from me and this gives her tremendous peace of mind and security.

However, she was always in a hurry – hurry up let's meet, hurry up and spank me, hurry up and do this to me, hurry up and do that to me. In many ways her life was careening out of control. I liken it to what I see in a lot of long time marriages that introduce D&D into their life to solve various problems. The image is her driving a car with me as a passenger. She is driving this car 100 mph straight at a brick wall. Just before the car hits the wall, she jumps into the back seat and says, “here, you drive!”

Her fantasies at the time were very vague and unfocused. She had two main fantasies, one in which she was aroused by an authority figure, and may involve being spanked. The other was a fantasy of the man who loved her, who would come and rescue her. Although I didn't tell her in so many words, it became apparent to me from our many conversations that there was the germination of submissive potential here. At the beginning she couldn't even say the word spanking because to her it sounded too submissive.

Now given all of this information I needed to ask myself how to proceed. I know this beautiful woman had an undeveloped submissive side to her but her life had caused many, many wounds that could easily be exposed if this was done recklessly. I also needed to know and fully understand the ramifications of this to my life. First of all, it has to be understood that if I didn't love her I couldn't do this. To any man wanting this lifestyle, there are three unbreakable rules. Rule # One, you gotta love her! Full stop. Rule Two, see rule One. Rule # Three, see Rule # 1 and 2. No exceptions. If you don't love her and I mean really love her, then do not proceed.

The next thing you have to understand is that this is not a part time lifestyle. For me, I have to accept the responsibility and step up each and every day, all day. I never take time off from this. I am always available to her for every one of her needs bar none. Nothing about her is too trivial for my attention. If I have been traveling on business all day and am tired when I get home and Blush needs me I will always be there for her and will put her needs in the front always. We never turn on the television. Instead we have what I call transition time. That is the time of day when our daughter is asleep and before we go to the bedroom. It is a time where she can unburden the trials of her day and ultimately let them go. While she is doing this my eyes never leave her and I am completely focused on her. At the end of transition, she has let her burdens go. As a result she has gone from someone who rarely slept at all to someone who easily sleeps nine hours a night.

I understand that this is not for everyone but if you want to reach the levels that we do, this is the commitment that needs to be made.�

Before I allowed her to be spanked at all by me, there had to be a strong level of security for her. We were treading in very dangerous and uncharted waters here. I will not be another one of her abusers and will forever protect her from those that try. So, how does one proceed? I decided the safest way was to sexualize it. Making it safe, and making it occur while in a high state of arousal would make it secure for her. You see, when one is in a high state of arousal and passion takes over, your mind justifies what is happening to you as being out of your control and thus easier to accept. Under these conditions she thrived. Passion is a very strong and powerful emotion. I would have her repeat things to me that she could never have said outside of a highly aroused state.

For those that would question whether this is true dominance I would ask you the following. While I don't mean to be overly graphic here, when I punish Blush she is wet at the onset and soaking at the conclusion. Does this make it sexual dominance or is it still punishment? You see, from this beginning we have evolved tremendously. While previously she could never, ever consider herself as a submissive she now accepts and revels in her submissiveness. However, I do not allow this to become part of her complete personality. She is not a submissive person except to me and I abhor the term “slave”. If I were to catch her submissively allowing a shopkeeper to mistreat her, I would immediately put a stop to it. He would be forced to apologize to her and she would be called to account to me for her actions. However, in my presence she will submit unquestioningly and completely to me. That is how it is. I have certain expectations for her behavior and actions and will relentlessly enforce them.

An example. Last week I was away on business for a week and left Blush with certain expectations I had for her. When I returned I found that she was slipping back into some old, familiar patterns of self-destructive behavior. This, to me is completely unacceptable and she needed to be reminded of that. Her self destructive behavior was actually caused by her being angry with me for being away for so long and because she is not yet able to direct this anger towards me where it belongs she takes it out on herself. I do not permit anyone to abuse her and certainly will not accept it from herself, so she was punished very sternly. The result was an unbelievable re-connection and her behavior back in line. I recognize that we still have a long way to go but the punishment she receives focuses her on what I expect from her and gives her the security she so desperately craves.

From the first erotically inspired spankings to the unrelenting punishment she now receives, I can tell you that she thrives in the security and connections that it brings. She has forever been changed and her future will bring deeper and more profound changes. She is indulged by me to the point of being spoiled and for that I make no apologies. But make no mistake – I own her and she belongs to me. She is no longer that scarred girl I first met. She is a beautiful, intelligent almost childlike spirit that has simply thrived in our life together and the sweet intimacy that it brings.

I apologize for the lengthy diatribe, but she is a passion of mine and I could go on and on. I would be pleased to clarify or answer any further questions you may have but that is as honest and raw a recollection of our life as I can tell you.

Gary

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