Laying the groundwork for other possibilities

I believe that relationship is a path to the divine. In my walk with Christ I sometimes feel a connection to others because I have paid attention to those closest to me. By building a connection with my wife, it makes it so I can build connection with my family, my friends and members of my community. I think it must start with those closest to us, especially our wives and/or husbands. When we create a solid, loving relationship with them it gives us a base from which we can reach out to others. I know what you mean by some intense relationships being stultifying, because I have witnessed this also. It is not pretty. However, I often wondered if those relationships were based on what one could gain from the other rather than what one could give to the other. Does this make sense?

The relationship I have with my wife has blossomed because we are both interested in each other and what we can do for each other. It is my wife's loving, generous spirit that inspires me to reach out to others. To feel a human connection with others. I feel that once that primary relationship is solid it makes it so much easier to be a better parent, a better friend, and a caring member of a larger community. I once knew someone who worked for social justice, he loved humanity, it was individual people he couldn't stand. To my way of thinking much can be known about a person by the kind of relationships they develop. When we have strong family connections we can then reach out to others and say hey come join us. At least this has been my experience.

Domestic discipline works for us because it draws us closer together. By developing this primary relationship it makes other connections possible. It has helped to build trust between us that has allowed us to delve ever deeper into each other and interestingly our own selves. She has become a mirror. Sometimes I want to hide from that mirror because I am afraid of what I may see. But I choose to look because I trust her. DD has played no small part in this process of building trust. I hate to make it sound like DD is some magic bullet, or that this is easy, but I do feel strongly that DD has laid the groundwork for other possibilities.

Stephen

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Is there consent?
Alpha male dominance
Domestic discipline (DD)
Quietly taken in hand
The hazards of self-sacrifice and impossible standards
Love-based service
Is this really consensual?
Do you have a commanding presence?
How my husband took my clothing choices in hand
Women want men who are more dominant

2003 Sep 23 - 17:16 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Laying the Groundwork for Other Possibilities

I really enjoy the sense in this article that our intimate relationship is a pathway to the Divine.

This sense, I think, gives us the ability to form a solid spiritual foundation within our family, surely the most fundamental of all our social units. From here, we gain increased connection with our community and, ultimately, our world and the rest of humanity. Not of any less importance, we can gain a deeper sense of personal responsibility and individual connection to our precious earth.

I think this is the most powerful, personally fullfilling and life enhancing lesson I have learned from relationship and family...that it is a pathway to appreciating the beauty and harmony in all things and that I am very much a part of it all.

Frank

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2003 Sep 27 - 19:16 | reply to this comment

Pathway to the divine

I've gotta hand it to both of you guys. You rock!

by The King on 2003 Sep 29 - 11:28 | reply to this comment

Beautiful

Stephen, I am in awe. You have created something beautiful. Thank you for these words of wisdom.

by Helen on 2003 Oct 3 - 01:38 | reply to this comment

Where's the DD?

One thing I noticed as I read your article, Stephen, was that you hardly mentioned DD at all. Was that deliberate? What role does DD play, here? Would you consider saying more about this?

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2003 Oct 10 - 09:56 | reply to this comment

Beautiful

It sounds like you and your wife have a beautiful friendship, and marriage.

I truly believe in the power of love to help us make our dreams, and those of the world come true.

All the best to you both,
Happy Holidays

by Elly on 2009 Dec 24 - 22:59 | reply to this comment

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