[This is an FAQ question (answers to frequently-asked questions). Please ensure that your post answers the question. Click here for the FAQ index.]
Is Taken In Hand abusive?
No! A Taken In Hand relationship is thoroughly consensual in substance, even if the form might appear otherwise.
“This website is just what I have been looking for for ages--but did not even know it! Have become weary of [other] sites, etc. They never really properly address the psychological components, all the subtleties [...] [A]nyway, thanks so much for existing, I have been telling my friends...hope your website sticks around forever!”
- A Girl From Texas
“Taken In Hand is male led but male intimately led. ... I do like the Taken In Hand focus on family and the focus that marriage is between one man and one woman. That is actually very important to me.”
- Frank Nelson
“Innately, women look for men able to take charge and come to despise the man failing to live up to that instinctive expectation.
Over the next several years – as footloose and fancy-free lifestyles become increasingly fraught with dubious outcomes amid turbulent circumstances – finding and maintaining stable relationships will become imperative. Although by no means a perfect solution for all problems, Taken In Hand can solve or reduce many marital difficulties.”
- Noone
“[I]n Taken In Hand, I am enhancing and extending my power as a woman, and enriching my life and personality. I give up NOTHING, and gain the world.... [M]y perception of Taken In Hand is that there are few other venues that can compare for teaching men the responsible, healthy uses of power. It gives men skills and confidence they can use not just in their sexual relationships, but also with their children, in their professions, and out in the community. Take In Hand requires a far higher level of courage, sacrifice, responsibility, and personal integrity than many [men] will even think to aspire to.”
- Sara
“Taken In Hand is about having the man in charge because you like it like that, it's not about blind obedience or never having your own way about anything.”
- Louise
“I have referred hundreds of people to [the Taken In Hand] site and have the link on my Yahoo profile.”
- Tess
“First of all, all you guys should check out this website, www.takeninhand.com, very interesting stuff here, check out the Commanding Presence [and] Alpha Males articles, [...] very valuable insights. [...] I'm taken by this site.”
- Eric
“[U]ntil 2 days ago I thought I was a crazy, ... abnormal
woman. [T]hen I stumbled onto the Taken in Hand website. I have never felt such relief, such internal peace in my life. This whole idea of being loved and trusting enough in another to place my, his and our well-being into his hands was exactly what I have been searching for my whole life. I spent 16 hours just reading... It is like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
- Melissa
“I enjoyed [Taken In Hand] very much and I recommend that everyone here visits it.”
- Loveart
“Taken In Hand is serious about the nature of male-female relationships, [...], in way I find exhilarating, honest, refreshing, courageous, and exciting.”
- HoneyBun
“Taken In Hand: Fascinating... blog that deals with difficult and hot topics!”
- Polly Peachum
“The Taken in Hand website has proven to be a valuable source for intelligent and well thought out articles exploring [male-led relationships]. [...] For women who have longed for a relationship such as this and have no idea where to start, this is a great site for you. For men that want to better understand the whole concept from a women’s point of view, this site is a must read.”
- Michael Masterson
“It's a great site.”
- Gem
“If you think my perspective on dating isn't politically correct you should go read Taken In Hand. [It has] posts with titles like, When rape is a gift. You go, girl. Defy those hairy-armpitted feminists and enjoy yourself. :)”
- Jacqueline Passey
“great site.”
- valerie
“There are lots of websites for people in the BDSM, D/s, DD (domestic discipline) and spanking communities. There are websites for people who belong to religions that advocate male-head-of-household marriage. There are even websites for Christians who are interested in BDSM. But there are very few websites for people who are interested in male-led intimate relationships but who are not interested in all that the above communities associate with this kind of relationship (jargon, clothes, etc.)
Some of us don't even like thinking of this as a lifestyle. [...]
If you are interested in this kind of relationship but are not interested in BDSM or D/s or DD or spanking websites, there's a new website for you: Taken In Hand”
- Tom Newman
“[Taken In Hand] is really the most beautiful website...”
- PaLady
“[Taken In Hand is an] erudite and intelligent site”
- Emily Cox
“[S]ince the day I [discovered Taken In Hand] I have rediscovered my feminity.”
- Saima from Pakistan
“[Taken In Hand is] a necessary read... Very complex, lots of power shifts, combining respect with [control], and pleasure. [...] The whole shebang. I'm glad I found it.”
- Dutchman
“Taken In Hand... is the name of a website that I discovered less than two years ago and which made a big difference to my life. It made me understand what it was I wanted and helped me to come to terms with my own feelings and gave me the impetus to talk seriously to my husband about our relationship for the first time ever really. The site is about male-led relationships which do not necessarily have to involve spanking. The owner of the site is more interested in other aspects of male control. There are a lot of interesting articles on the site.”
- Louise C
“[Taken In Hand is a]n excellent site with many thought-provoking articles and responses.”
- Doug
“[Taken In Hand is] one of the most exciting sites on the internet!”
- Malcolm
“[T]he whole damn site really is one of the most well articulated (pro/con) loaded blogs I've seen. It provides a cross section of how people are feeling out there even amongst those who are ‘seemingly’ natural allies.”
- zbigdogX
“As I view it, I'm a control freak. I love to be in control. However, I fantasize about that control being stripped from me and handed over to someone else....namely, my husband. I'm just glad I found a site that makes me realize I'm not a freak for wanting [a Taken In Hand relationship]”
- GypsyGirl
“I was delighted to receive word of Taken In Hand. ... a very thoughtful and well-written group blog. ... I'm looking forward to reading through this blog the way I look forward to reading a new novel by a favorite author. It looks that good.”
- SpankBoss
“Wow. This site is so amazing.”
- Ken
““[Taken In Hand is] a wonderful website [...] [I]t's about the interpersonal dynamics of loving relationships where the man is the boss. [I]t's assumed that both partners are in it because that's what they want and have chosen. Also, unlike many other ‘traditional marriage’ sites, it's not coming from any sort of biblical perspective. ... Some of the best writing I've seen on these topics, from a variety of authors.”
- Dee
“[Taken In Hand is] a brill resource.... for info articles... and real life experiences”
- Spirited Angel
“A very cool site”
- The Yeti
“Thank you for providing such a positive, validating place for like-minded people to talk about this in a way that affirms the dignity of both men and women”
- Mary
“a great site”
- Jana Peterson
“an exremely high quality site... I highly recommend [Taken In Hand].”
- Helen
“fantastic site”
- Danevah
“Intéressant à lire”
- Discipline Domestique
“Un site remarquable”
- Camille Meudon
“[Y]our site rocks!”
- Howard Frank
“Visit Taken in Hand for a lot of good thoughts. I think you'll find them useful [...]”
- Katy
“a wonderful site”
- CoHC
“the best there is”
- Kathy
“The answer to every single discussion is there. Best piece of text I read ever...And it rings SO true.”
- Revan
“What a wonderful website. ... [S]o much of this I can relate to my life. ... It has been a while since I have read a website that was ‘different’ than most.”
- Carla
“GREAT site”
- SweetBrat
“Website of the Month”
- TBPFS