How we stopped fighting and became happier together

When I first found this site I thought it must be a joke. I was very disconcerted, attracted and repelled by what I read. Gradually I came to admit that the feeling of attraction was stronger than the feeling of repulsion. But I thought that wanting to regard my husband as a serious authority figure was terribly silly, and frankly I didn't think he had sufficient self-control to do it anyway.

Then, I think it was only about a week after I discovered this site, we had one of our massive rows (our last one to date) and it brought on a sort of nervous crisis. I found myself actually talking seriously to my husband (not something we go in for much normally).

I told him how much it upset me when he lost his temper and yelled at me, I told him that if he'd try harder not to lose his temper, I'd try much harder not to do the things that caused him to lose it. I told him I was serious about wanting to please him, and that it worked better for me if it was kept on a personal level (i.e. I'm much happier doing things because he wants me to do them rather than being told, as he often did in the past, that I should do such-and-such because it's what other women do, that just made me loathe all the other women). And, much to my surprise it worked, and it worked the way others had described it working on this site.

We don't have rows any more, he's happier because he feels I listen to him and pay attention to what he wants. I'm happier because he doesn't lose his temper with me any more. I have found that doing what he wants has made me happier as well as him. He has never tried to make a joke out of it by telling me to do things just for the sake of it, rather than because it's something he really wants done. He's more willing to make compromise decisions that keep both of us happy because he knows I'm more willing to do things that he wants.

It's made both of us happier, and that's what it's all about as far as I am concerned.

Louise C

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
What you need to know about Taken In Hand
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!
In my room
Taking her in hand when she won't ask for it
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
Now, I want my husband all the time
The paradox of the master and the queen
Strength and ceding control
Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be

2005 Mar 22 - 08:28 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Wedded Bliss

[See this article.]

Thanks for sharing, Louise. It's nice to know this works for others as well.

Regards,
Ameribritwife

by Ameribritwife on 2005 May 1 - 22:34 | reply to this comment

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