Are you paying attention? Are you really connecting?

Our Taken In Hand relationship is about connection. My mate pays attention. He is interested in all aspects of my life. The arousal that results from a spanking isn't due to the spanking, but due to his willingness to lead, even when it's difficult or I am difficult. Nothing is too trivial for me to talk about, to need, or to trivial for him to notice.

Being connected means he would never require me to do something he knows I would absolutely detest. Being in the leadership role means he would find a different way to get the same desired results. He may want me to exercise but knows how much I hate exercising. He could require me to exercise anyway, and when I didn't comply, spank me. I would feel oppressed should that happen. I would feel my feelings didn't matter or weren't important. Or, he could decide that we take a walk together every night. I get the exercise I need, but I get it in a way that is enjoyable.

Our relationship isn't just about him leading and me submitting. It's about the connection between us that enables him to effectively lead and me to submit. It's about him having intimate knowledge of my emotions, my thought process, my needs (the ones I can easily verbalize and the ones I can't but need to). It's about him seeing what I need and finding a way for that need to be filled in a positive way. I am always amazed at how quickly he senses things, hears things in my voice that I thought I was hiding. He picks up on the slightest sound of stress no matter how hard I try not to sound stressed.

He bears my pissy moments very well, rather indulgently really, until I cross the line of disrespect or inconsideration. That will get me over his knee for a ‘serious’ spanking. The arousal aspect of it is not the spanking per se, but that he cares enough about our connection to spank me.

I have his complete attention, total interest, his loyalty, his love. He is devoted not only to me, but to our connection, our relationship. I try to do things that please my mate. I don't do this to keep from getting a spanking though. I do it because I am very much in love with him.

Jett's Girl

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Do you need more attention in your relationship?
A small but touching act of kindness
What is the secret recipe?
Cherishing the family: little things have big effects
In praise of Fascinating Womanhood
Now, I want my husband all the time
From vague awareness to a beautiful relationship
The Taming of the Shrew
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Do you need more attention in your relationship?

2005 Mar 16 - 01:02 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Excellent Advice for Men

Cite only, no comment needed.

The arousal that results from a spanking isn't due to the spanking, but due to his willingness to lead, even when it's difficult or I am difficult. Nothing is too trivial for me to talk about, to need, or to trivial for him to notice.

by Noone on 2005 Mar 16 - 19:23 | reply to this comment

Total agreement

I completely agree with you Jett's Girl. I'd love to have someone so devoted to me, our relationship, and our connection. It seems a man would have to be pretty intense and focused on his woman to be that in-tune with her and I've not met many men who can pull themselves away from their own interests long enough to give it more than a cursory try. Some of the men who post here write as if they are that way, but it doesn't seem to be a quality most men have these day. Pity.

by Crushed Velvet on 2006 Dec 22 - 22:17 | reply to this comment

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