If I asked for the moon...

I have recently come to appreciate much more than I ever did how lucky I am to be married to my husband. As long as I have known him, more than anything else, he has always wanted me to be happy.

On our honeymoon, I remember how he was always asking me what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, and if I so much as glanced at anything in a shop he would ask me if I wanted it, even though I had plenty of money of my own at that time. And he's always been the same, even though I've frequently driven him round the bend, he has always wanted me to have everything I wanted and to do everything that I've wanted to do.

He has always been more anxious to please me than I have been to please him, and I have taken advantage of this fact. To be honest, I still do, though these days I try harder to consider what he wants rather than just thinking about what I want. For instance, a few months ago, in response to my own anxieties about running up excessive credit card bills etc., he imposed a ban on me buying anything non-essential without asking him first (naturally, this does not include books, which my husband quite understands are essentials as far as I am concerned). In practice, though, he has never actually said ‘no’ when I've asked him if I could buy anything, and I doubt if he actually ever would. I have toyed with the idea of testing this by asking if I could buy something outrageously expensive (“Darling, there's this wonderful Faberge egg on eBay”), but I feel that he would probably suspect that I was taking the Mickey, and respond accordingly.

Because he is so attuned to thinking about what I want, even my infrequent attempts to consider his tastes rather than my own have generally been unsuccessful. The curtain incident always comes to mind. A few years ago he decided we needed to get new curtains for the living room, and I was looking through a catalogue when I found some I fell in love with instantly. They were designed by an Australian Aboriginal artist and the patterns were based on Aboriginal Dreamtime art, fantastic bold patterns in bright contrasting colours, I absolutely adored them but I knew my husband, whose tastes in interior decoration are considerably more conservative than mine, would hate them. So when he asked me if I'd seen any I liked, I pointed out a couple of more conventional designs that I thought he might approve.

He took the catalogue and flicked through it, then he looked at me with a puzzled expression “Don't you want these?” he asked, pointing to my wonderful Dreamtime curtains. “Oh, but I thought you'd hate those,” I said, rather taken aback. “I don't mind getting them if you'd like them,” he replied firmly. I was quite overwhelmed with love, because a) he knew me well enough to recognise the curtains of my heart's desire, and b) He was prepared, for my sake, to put up with them.

Although he is very appreciative of my attempts to try harder with the housework etc, even there he will still come in, and, seeing me cleaning up the living room for instance will say, “I'll do that, you know you don't really like doing it.” Admittedly, I know this is partly because he knows he can simply do it more efficiently than I can (nothing I clean ever looks as clean as it does when he cleans it), but still the thought is there.

I just can't imagine him ever wanting to deprive me of anything that he thought could give me pleasure, or wanting to stop me going anywhere that I wanted to go, if I fancied a trip to the Moon he'd probably try to arrange it for me.

Louise C

Taken In Hand Tour start | next

Have you seen the following articles?
Secretary: the film
Is he who (or where) he says he is?
What easy-to-say word gives every lover pleasure?
Happy living in fear of a man?
Look for love
It's all in the mind
Does being submissive mean not saying what you think?
Looking into the mirror of life
Liberated through submission
Do you have a commanding presence?

2005 Jan 27 - 08:16 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

What a Great Guy!

You have a wonderful man there, Louise, and I know you realize just how lucky you are.

I have a great guy too, who comes home from a day at work and insists on washing the dishes. I'm sure if we could afford it he would give me everything I wanted too.

We make joint decisions and no one has the "final say" because almost always we arrive at a consensus.

We support each other instead of worrying about issues of authority.

"Pat"

by "Pat" on 2005 Jan 27 - 16:16 | reply to this comment

Giving and taking

My late father, who was a champion giver, used to say to me "Never refuse what is freely offered" I took this to heart, and since what my husband gives me is offered freely, I don't refuse. Whether what I give him in return is enough or not I couldn't say, only he could. He's away at the moment but he'll be back tomorrow, I'll ask him.

by Louise C on 2005 Jan 28 - 17:08 | reply to this comment

Gratitude for his love

Someone commented that Louise is taking her "poor sap" husband for a ride.

From everything Louise has written here, I don't think that's anywhere near an accurate description of her husband!

And it's clear from that post alone (and even more so if you read her others) that she's not taking him for a ride.

I thought the tone in that post was a mixture of being surprised and feeling grateful that he loves and cares for her that much.

by ConfusedOfHomeCounties on 2005 Jan 29 - 14:59 | reply to this comment

A good example

This is a good example of how a man should be. He should put his wife's desires and needs before his own.

by Ed on 2006 Jan 7 - 22:37 | reply to this comment

How wonderful. I read this a

How wonderful. I read this atricle often - so I can imagine, no dream, of the day that I find someone who will treat me as your husband treats you! Good for you & good for him.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2008 Jun 25 - 01:26 | reply to this comment

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