Could micromanagement work for you, too?

My marriage has always been good, but now that my husband and I have taken on very traditional male/female roles, it's even better!

Just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean that she is not intelligent! My husband is a smart, wonderful, loving man who values my opinion, and will almost always consult me when making a decision. But, because he is the head of the household, I trust him to make the right decisions, which he always does!

He knows that I will always respect and obey him, and he knows that I want him to set limits for me, and to punish me if I fall short of them. The first time he actually spanked me (which I completely deserved, by the way!) surprised me, because he is such a loving and kind man. But, I am such a happy woman today because of it and we have a relationship that is filled with so much love and trust.

I am naturally submissive and he is naturally dominant, so once we tapped into those deep feelings, our marriage just got better and better! He is happy because his needs are being met – he has a calm, happy, obedient wife, and I am happy because my needs are being met – I am able to depend on a loving, strong, protective man.

Truly, nothing makes me happier than having him walk in the house after he's worked hard all day. When he sits down (after a big hug and kiss at the door!) I immediately kneel down and take off his shoes, get him what he wants to drink, bring his paper and mail to him, and then we share what's happened in our days. I treat him like the king that he is, and he treats me like a princess.

Of course, there are times when I make mistakes or forget to do something that I was supposed to do. Other times I might be cranky or PMS-ing, and I sometimes say something smart or snappy to him in a disrespectful tone. I always get an immediate reaction from him when I do that. I have had a sore bottom more than once for having a smart mouth or back-talking to him! But I have become a better person than I was before he took me in hand.

I am so much more focused since he began to correct and control me. I am also enjoying a new phase lately because he now has me make a list every day of specific errands and chores I need to get done. I have read some of the other comments and posts regarding the man micro-managing the woman, and I know that not everyone needs or agrees with this concept, but it's working out really well for us. I make the list with his guidance, and if I'm not able to follow it, we talk about how I can do better, and I sometimes get a few hard swats to my bottom. Believe me, the next day when I have a stinging bottom, I remember what I'm supposed to get done!

Anyway, we are a very, very happy man and wife with a loving marriage filled with passion and intimacy. I wouldn't want our relationship to be any other way because this feels so natural for us and has deepened the love we feel for each other.

Babydoll

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
The Total Woman, by Marabel Morgan: a book review
What women want
Is there consent?
Secretary: the film
Who says you have to be submissive?
The importance of making myself available
What Taken In Hand has done for our marriage
How I became submissive
Why would a women want to be spanked?
When I'm in overdrive...

2005 Jan 14 - 06:58 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Help me understand!

I have a question for the writer of this piece. Are you really hppy with this? Becaue to this outsider, it sounds crazy, but you do sound happy. Could you say more to help me see the source of your joy?

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Jan 14 - 09:38 | reply to this comment

For us, it works!

Yes, yes, yes -- I am very happy! Please understand that we are in a peaceful, loving relationship. My husband is very calm and never arrogant or violent. I would never be in such a relationship. My submissive nature has been allowed to bloom over the last few years. The micromanagement part of our relationship is fairly new, and it's really not a big part of our relationship. I guess you could say that it's just a little thing that reminds me every day that I am under my husband's control and guidance, which is almost an erotic feeling for me. It's definitely a comforting feeling!

I am a smart woman, and my husband knows that. However, I am very emotional and sensitive, which sometimes interferes with rational thinking! My husband is very logical and practical (even though he is sensitive to my feelings), so the idea of making a list of things to take care of every day has just evolved naturally. I always felt bad, and not very responsible, after I forgot to do different things that we had talked about. So I guess you could just call it a "To Do" list, instead of calling it micromanagement.

All of us are different, and what works for one relationship doesn't work for another. I would actually like to be disciplined in other ways than OTK spankings and discussions (after reading the articles on using a switch!), but I don't think my sweet husband would carry my discipline that far because I really am a submissive and obedient wife most of the time. And I don't want to mess anything up by acting up because he trusts me to be a good wife. I try to never let him down.

As far as serving him and treating him like a king when he gets home, that just comes naturally to me, so I can't really explain it. I must say to other women out there -- if you want to be treated like a princess, then start respecting your man and treat him like a king! Unless he is an abusive jerk, he will respond with love and kindness, and you will both be happier in your relationship! The benefits of being a loving, submissive, obedient wife are great!

by babydoll on 2005 Jan 14 - 20:00 | reply to this comment

treating him like a King

If treating him like a king means taking his shoes off, then my husband is, I'm afraid going to have to do without it. "There are limits, you know" as he said to me once, and that is definitely one of mine!

by Louise C on 2005 Jan 14 - 20:50 | reply to this comment

Micromanagement

Babydoll: I think that congratulations are in order for you and your husband. You've figured out what works for you in your relationship; you've shared your viewpoints openly and I'm certain that others will learn from your experience. I'm not certain that micromanagement is the preferred term for what you've described, however. To me, your list is no different from the To-Do lists that many of us employ in the workplace. We have superiors at work who oversee our work and assure its completion; why not at home IF that is agreeable to both parties. It works for you- no explanation necessary!

As for removing his shoes- while my husband and I don't choose to do that, I can certainly see where that could be looked upon as an act of affection for the other- actually, an act of respect for your husband after he's worked a long day. I see nothing wrong with that! Again, what works for one couple may not be for another!

What I came away with in reading your post, is that you feel valued and in return, you do whatever you can to make your husband feel that he is valued similarly.

Can't get much better than that! Thanks for sharing your obvious love for one another!

by fulghum21 on 2005 Jan 19 - 00:20 | reply to this comment

Thanks for understanding and being tolerant!

Thank you, fulghum21! You stated it perfectly when you said, "you feel valued and in return, you do whatever you can to make your husband feel that he is valued similarly."

Every relationship is different and unique. There is no one universal blueprint that we all must adhere to. Each couple is figuring out along the way what works and what doesn't work for them personally.

I honestly didn't realize when I posted this article, that I would get any responses regarding me taking off my husband's shoes when he gets home! I guess, to me, it's no big deal. I don't feel like less of a person just because I choose to do a small act of kindness every day for my husband. It's purely out of love, respect, and the joy I feel being a submissive wife. I probably enjoy it more than he does!

Anyway, thanks for being tolerant of another couple's relationship!

by babydoll on 2005 Jan 19 - 03:42 | reply to this comment

Wrong decisions

The person whose comment I replied to originally said she found it hard to obey when she thought her husband was making the wrong decisions. I replied that I didn't see why she should find it easy if she really found the decisions wrong, and I still think that. there does seem to me to be a difference between having a different opinion and believeing that a decision is actually wrong. My definition of a wrong decision would be a decision that you felt was likely to have a negative result, cause some actual problem, rather than a dispute over whether or not to buy some new furniture. I suppose the furniture decision would count as serious if you felt that buying it would get you into serious debt or something. That would be an example where I would feel that it would not make you happy to submit. I assumed that this was what this person meant when she talked about 'wrong decisions', but maybe I was wrong about that. 'Different' and 'wrong' seem to me to have two different meanings

by Louise C on 2005 Feb 27 - 07:53 | reply to this comment

A chivalrous gesture

My boyfriend insists on taking my shoes off! What's a girl to do but let him?

I must admit it was hard to 'submit' to his desire to do this at first, but he really insisted and I got used to it, and now I love it.

Princess C.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Nov 4 - 12:06 | reply to this comment

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.