How Sleeping Beauty found her prince
I have been wired to respond to strong, tender, spanking men ever since I can remember. My earliest sexual fantasies – around age 4 or 5 – were about being lovingly disciplined and spanked. I had one or two chance exposures to such men in my 20s which scared me to death – my response was so overwhelming – so I ran from it most of my adult life.
After a disastrous first marriage to a ‘mama's boy’ I found out there were other people like me when I got my first computer. I then went about finding a partner with the same determination and persistence that I did everything else important in my life. I wrote personal ads and posted them everywhere appropriate on the Internet, and I made my ad as honest and open as I could, both about who I was, and about what I was seeking. I spent time in many, many chatrooms where I might meet a partner, and I created profiles for yahoo, aol and ICQ letting people know who I was and what I wanted. I figured the internet was my best bet, because as a divorced mother of some 40 odd years, and a physician who worked exclusively with women, I wasn't likely to meet my dream man on my ward nor in my suburban family neighborhood. So the Internet it was...:)
I corresponded with more men than I care to remember. I met a number of them, 99% of them not more than once, in a public place. I had been doing this determined search for about 3 years when I met my fiance. He “picked me up” in an aol chatroom. We IMd for several weeks, then spoke on the phone for several more weeks, then met in public. I won't lie to you, I went home with him that first time. Basically we both knew right away, and I was lucky that Robert was the man he represented himself to be. The end of the story is we are getting married next Saturday and moving into a new home together right after the wedding.
Here are some things I learned along the way:
1. You must believe in yourself and believe there is someone out there for you.
2. You must wake up every morning thinking “today could be the day,” and one day, it will be.
3. You have to take as good care of yourself as you can, and live your life as fully as you can as a single woman. Nurture your friendships, your hobbies, yourself. You will have more to offer your mate.
4. Be careful. Take your time. Get to know someone before you drape yourself over anyone's knees. (Ok, but remember I'd spent about 3 months in daily conversation with Robert before I met him. Ok, then do as I say, not as I did....:)
5. Make sure you enjoy your man for who he is besides your disciplinarian.
Real life is not a series of spankings, and spankings don't take all that much time. You have many, many hours to relate to your partner in other ways. Make sure you can love him all the time he isn't spanking you! Robert and I love to haunt junk shops, flea markets, antique shows, take car trips, watch movies on video at home, and play mini golf. We share a religion, values, cultural outlooks. And, most important of all, he's a terrific stepfather type person for my two sons.
I'd be happy to answer any questions or help any single woman in her process. It got really hard, really lonely at times. There were times I thought my longing would consume me. But I just never gave up. And now, like Sleeping Beauty, I am about to go off to marry my middle aged Prince, who keeps threatening me that he will have our officiant say, “And now you may spank your bride!” That darned man...:)
Have you seen the following articles?
The sexuality of ‘non-sexual’ dominance
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
How can a strong woman signal her submissiveness?
First year trials
Strength and ceding control
Learning the ropes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Do you have a commanding presence?
The resistant woman
Happy living in fear of a man?!
Comments
#1 What did you say?
Susie Joy said that she "wrote personal ads and posted them everywhere appropriate on the Internet, and [she] made [her] ad as honest and open as [she] could, both about who [she] was, and about what [she] was seeking."
Susie, what did you say in these ads? Or to anyone else who has done this: what did you say? Did you say you want a dominant man? Or a spanking man? Or what? When you say that you made your ads honest both about who you are and what you were seeking, what are we talking about, here?
If you say you want a dominant man, there may be men out there who would become dominant who will pass over your ad because they have not yet found their dominance. If you say you want a man who will discipline you, you could end up with a domineering control freak, or a man who wants to play BDSM role rplaying scenes with you, or an abuser. I'm not sure it's best to lay it out for them before you've even met them. What do others think?
#2 You have lived the life I am ...
You have lived the life I am now starting to journey on. Thanks for the encouragement. I recently began surfing regarding this issue. Imagine my surprise when I found spanking.com while doing research for an inservice I had to do for medical students/residents at the hospital I work at. It has really turned my life around. At nearly 50, I though my chance at starting was over. You have inspired me. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptuals. May your bottom be as warm as your heart.
love
charley
#3 thank you, Susie
I am a single woman seeking a relationship with a disciplinary twist. Mostly I am using the internet, chatting, then meeting. In the last 4 months I've had many lovely responses to my ad, lots of fun chatting, and met some nice men with whom I just didn't click. But I've also (apparently) gotten taken in by a con man, and treated badly by another man, and rejected by two men. So I'm temporarily in despair, because I don't know any other way to look for this kind of relationship.
And then I read your article, and it cheered me up, and makes me think that once I stop hurting over this last escapade, I'll be able to keep going and find someone to love. Who knows how to spank me, occasionally.
Thanks Susie! And best of luck in your marriage and your life.
#4 Just discovered this website
I find this so interesting. I too have been fascinated with spankings from the time I was 4. In fact I remember having a dream of being spanked and experiencing a sensation I can now associate with an orgasm. It's strange because I really was not spanked as a kid. I love being spanked but have no idea how to tell my partner just how much. He has a very dominant personality, and so do I. We have alot of power struggles and I think if I could find a way to incorporate this into our lives it would be tremendously helpful. Can you suggest any books I could pass along to him? I would really appreciate it. I love his power, he is an amazing human being. He takes care of me beautifully. He is overseas for a long time and all I can think about is being over his knee. I think he would be afraid of hurting me. Any advice would be appreciated.