Keeping the lines of communication open

The head of the household's responsibility is to care for the entity created by two people... the relationship. The way he does this is to provide an open channel of communication between them. He hears what she has to say, he considers what she has to say, he keeps what she has to say confidential, he doesn't use her words against her. He protects the open line of communication and intimacy between the two.

This does not take responsibility away from the woman. It is a mutual trust that is established. However, I do believe it is up to the man to establish that line of communication first and draw his significant other into this safety zone.

I believe you are actually protecting the relationship by providing that open communication. You validate her feelings; she is being heard, so that you may effectively guide the relationship so that it is mutually satisfying and she is not feeling frustrated. You do this by providing her a channel to communicate her feelings.

She isn't being a doormat or one that just follows orders. She can speak freely and honestly, as long as she does so respectfully, so you can gauge what she is feeling. This allows you to have the confidence to manage. Accepting responsibility for running the home isn't about giving orders – or about fulfilling the man's ego. It is about two people speaking openly and honestly, trusting and loving, in the interest of making their bond together stronger.

Fosti

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
The erotic power of unshackled male dominance
Is your new man dominant, domineering, or a dithering wimp?
Asserting dominance physically forcefully
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Does it have to hurt to be Taken In Hand?
Quietly taken in hand
I don't want to be a servant or slave
A relationship of equals
Women want men who are more dominant

2005 Jan 9 - 10:25 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

Not only allow but demand communication

I very much agree. Lines of communication should allow open exchange of thoughts and opinions.

I would only add that the man should not only allow he should demand open clear and straight answers from his woman. And he has to watch that because of the tendency of women to hide different opinions.

Doing that and respecting different opinions is really taking responsibility.

by horstbogner on 2005 Jan 9 - 13:01 | login or register to post comments

Speaking freely

Yes, that's just how I feel about it. I am much more open with my husband since we started having a Taken In Hand relationship, and he pays much more attention to me. We are both more considerate of each other's feelings now.

He certainly doesn't give me orders, or constantly demand obedience or anything, and while I don't think his ego was ever all that inflated, I would say that having me pay more attention to what he wants, and try to be more respectful towards him, has made him if anything less egotistical, and certainly more thoughtful.

by Louise C on 2005 Jan 9 - 13:30 | login or register to post comments

Gentle firmness

If my husband noticed something was bothering me (and he always does notice) and he demanded that I tell him what was wrong, or threatened me with punishment if I didn't, this would immediately put my back up and send me into a stubborn determination not to tell him. I would not feel submissive.

What he does is ask me what's bothering me, and if I say, as I quite often do, that there's nothing, he'll say firmly "Yes, there is, I can tell. Tell me what it is, we're supposed to tell each other things, remember, it's the new era of Detente" or something like that. This sort of gentle firmness makes me immediately melt and spill the beans, whereas demanding or threatening wouldn't.

It's what Jeeves calls the psychology of the individual.

by Louise C on 2005 Jan 10 - 08:53 | login or register to post comments

Gentle demanding

Often, people find it difficult to say something that they really do want to say. If the man were to demand (in a kind, gentle way) to know something, that might well make it much easier and be just what the Taken In Hand woman wants.

Taken In Hand women generally like to feel their man's control. If he (politely, kindly) demands an answer, the Taken In Hand woman is likely to find that pleasant and possibly erotic, rather than unpleasant and off-putting. Remember the context. :-)

by the boss on 2005 Jan 11 - 09:11 | login or register to post comments

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