Why do people stop bothering to please their loved ones when they know them well? It's so sad! Blush, you have it right. We need to remember the little things, not forget them.

I am coming to realize that parents that indulge in what are considered 'superfluous' gifts are as rare as the gifts we offer.

To give without wanting is also a rare trait.

But one with so much fulfillment.

Most of us have heard the expression 'Unconditional love'.

This is near impossible. We all want to love with conditions.

We want to be validated or some sign of recognition, among other things.

Yet for some us with children, we simply adore them and give for the sake of.

Why don't more parents?

Too many different agendas. Too many needs not being met.

It doesn't matter whether it's a religious school, or the close knit community school down the street.

Today I received a call from my daughters school principal.

My daughter was stung by a bee in the playground.

I brought a stuffed cat I was saving for her birthday with 2 Halloween cookies I had baked for her school classroom tomorrow for the Halloween party.

I offered this gift as a sign of encouragement for being brave through a bee sting.

Yet later I found out that there is a girl who does not speak English that well in her class.

My child and her friends have devised a 'Linda alert' so they can avoid this child when they see her coming.

My heart broke when I heard this and my child and I had a very serious talk about leaving someone out and potentially hurting feelings.

So with the attention I give to victories and love for the sake of, I also am involved enough to ward off unacceptable behavior.

But done with love and sensitivity.

It's a win/win situation to show love........Blush

Our children have grown up! Three are on their own and one teenager still at home.

Our son is our oldest child . He is always doing something for someone. He writes beautiful cards to us telling us that he loves us. Another time he purchased a pair of shoes for someone who was homeless and pours out love on his sisters. At this moment he is putting together a baby shower for a coworker whose baby is due soon.

I have an anniversary card in my classroom where I teach and it is from our middle daughter. She tells us of how much we mean to her and expresses her feeliings about how we have raised her and that we are good parents.
That Blesses our hearts like nothing else. I guess we did something right after all.
Our second oldest has been very ill most of her life and that has taken alot of our energy and sometimes time away from the other children. There have been struggles. However it is so precious when our other children purchase a ticket for her to go to a concert that she could not afford for herself. She lives on her own and lives with a severe mental illness.
How precious all of our children are, they have walked the walk and they have such tender and dear hearts to extend to family member and to those they do not know.
How very Blessed we are that the good Lord brought them into our lives.
Unconditional love and acceptance are so very precious and to extend those to our children are vitally important. It is a gift indeed when we see that love expressed through our children not only to ourselves but to the world.

I have gone and reread all that is here and my heart swells. When some of the parents or lovers give out of love, that satisfaction goes beyond words or descriptions.

I still find that the rituals of love, the tiny acts of love and sensitivity go far beyond wordy lectures or lessons we try to teach.

I am loved by Gary and that love allows me to give so much to this world. My inner family in particular.

I am from such a dysfunctional family. They can barely tolerate me, yet my child, husband and at least 3 phone calls today of others telling me how much they thank me for the small acts that helped them today. Not everyday this happens, but it allows me to see that what my parents and siblings see is what they paint.

The truest love is pure and felt hard.

And one I can give in return to countless others.

A saying I know:

The circle is open but never broken.....Blush

Hi Kat, thank you so much for reading my words. You know less than 10 years ago I had no idea who I really was. I only wanted to be safe and stop being in such pain. Both physical and emotional. I did all I could be to be invisible. I was slender, wouldn't confront anyone and would barely breath. Oh I gave my opinion when asked, but mostly deflected all I could away from myself. And it wasn't easy for some reason I have always stood out in the crowd.

But my family and men close to me gave me no reason to think I was lovable or allowed me to share what was really deep down in my heart.

When Gary met me he had to really think if he wanted to take me on.

He loved me, but I was so scarred. But he did (thank you angels above) and he has given me freedom to be myself. And more, to express myself and to simply look within and enjoy who I am. And in return I love life. I enjoy those I connect with (on Gary's watch anyway) and only want to share all this goodness that has happened to me.

People always remember when we are together. At restaurants or even in certain malls or stores. We are often commented on on romantic we look together. From strangers! But when I get to describe the inner workings of who we are, in a wonderful place like Taken In Hand, it's all the sweeter because people want to read this type of dynamic. I always worried I wouldn't be able to give all the love that I had stowed away in my heart. But here I am a wife and mother now and I get to do all those things I always dreamed of. And watch how they devour it up. I owe it all to Gary for rescuing me from life, from my family and most importantly, from myself.

Of course he claims he got the good end of the bargain.

Perhaps it was just meant to be.....Blush

When my sons were growing up, they too liked the little gifts they were given, but I think the thing that meant the most to them was the gift of time. I was always very involved with them, taking them to their sports practices and games, many times being one of their coaches, and would be the “Street mom” for their Latch Key friends. Those friends parents knew us and were grateful that their children had a “safe house” they could go to after school or in the summer and that I would take care of any minor emergencies that might crop up.

But when I say gift of time, I mean just that. During their teen years, I would take each child out individually to spend a day with me. I would let them plan the entire day together, movies, shopping, what have you, take them out of school (if there were no tests) and we would go to Dubuque for our day together. They always treasured these days because they knew what it cost me. I worked full time and went to school full time so I had to plan for them as well. But they knew on “their day” they had my full attention and we really bonded with the time invested.They had always known they could talk to me about anything on their minds and this was the time they usually did so because they did not have to worry about another family member interrupting or embarrassing them. I always did my best to guide them in the right directions and they gave me back the gift of love. What could be better than receiving a gift that is greater than the one given? I hope when they have their own children they will do the same.

I know some of you are aghast at my kids skipping school, but they are both very intelligent and if their grades slipped below straight A’s the date was off until the grades were up. It was a reward for their hard work and being the non-conformist that I am, I found it actually helped to pull them out once a month for their day. They would return to classes with a renewed interest and enthusiasm and not once did I get a complaint from their school. And I am a firm believer that a parent’s most important job is to nurture the child’s spirit as well as their bodies and for our family at least, this was the way we did so.

Libby