Why do I have such a powerful desire to be corrected and controlled by my husband?

Why do I have such a powerful desire to be corrected and controlled by my husband?

Can anybody tell me why my desire for a Taken In Hand relationship is so strong? Am I crazy for wanting to be controlled and corrected by my husband? It is like a fire burning within me, a need, a drive so strong it's overwhelming. Why is it so strong?

A strong desire

If you are crazy then so are many other Taken In Hand women! I know what you mean though. It is strong for me too, and has become stronger as I have explored the idea. So if you are uncomfortable with this feeling, you might want to stop reading and thinking about Taken In Hand and take up knitting instead! Or perhaps entering a convent might be in order. :-)

A strong desire

I don't know why you have this desire, but you are not alone. Most of the women on this website, as far as I can judge, desire control, to a greater or lesser degree, and of those, many (not all) also desire correction.

The degree of control desired can vary a lot. In my own relationship, I would say it is minimal, mainly limited to controlling my (fairly frequent) temperamental outbursts. Other women appreciate a much more detailed level of control, being much more tightly managed. You would probably need to work out how much control you need or desire, because too much control could be irksome for some women, and not enough unsatisfying for others.

You say you desire this control from your husband, are you talking about an actual husband or a theoretical one? If you already have one, then I would suggest talking to him about your desires, and see how he reacts. He may favour the idea himself, or at any rate be willing to give it a go. You may be hesitant about discussing it with him, so was I, but in my case it worked out fine, and I would recommend trying it.

For most of us, the desire is overwhelmingly strong. I think, in part, this is because the feminine desire for correction and control is sexual in nature, and like most sexual desire, cannot be explained easily or dismissed. Homosexuals, for example, talk about "knowing" from their earliest years that their desire was for the same sex and they can't talk themselves out of it. In the same way, I have "known" from my earliest years that I desired a dominant man--and this was long before I had any sexual understanding at all! There are probably biological and natural origins for this desire--reasons that no longer really matter in our culture, but the desire remains. Given that, the desire is emotional as well, and the marrying of my sexual desires with my emotional ones has been pivotal and exhilerating in my life with my husband. So--just go with it! Charlotte

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