American Beauty meets The Surrendered Wife

Picture the couple, laughing and talking. They share a poignant moment, and suddenly find themselves locked in a passionate embrace. It looks like they’re going to really go for it...clothes are being tugged off, lips can’t seem to hold still…until she looks over and says, “You’re going to spill that beer on the couch.”

This was a scene from American Beauty. For those who have seen it, didn't you just cringe when you saw the behaviour of the wife? Have you ever cringed because you have found yourself acting or sounding like her?

Well, for controlling women, for women who feel like they married morons, who are disillusioned, feeling like the only adult in the house, feeling martyred, stressed out, and overwhelmed, there is help.

Help comes in the form of a paperback book called The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle. The book discusses concrete ways to increase intimacy in your relationship, and help you recall why you married him in the first place. It advocates self-care: taking care of yourself so you’re not so stressed out, and also to fill your time more so you’re not waiting for hubby to make you happy.

The website for the book is a good place to begin. There are two chapters from the book excerpted there, and a quiz to see where you stand now in the controlling department. Remember, this is for you, so be as honest with yourself as possible.

Think about it: that couple from the movie, American Beauty, could have saved their marriage had they gone through with the lovemaking. Surrendering is about letting go of the things that don’t matter quite so much, in favor of closeness and real intimacy with your spouse. OK, so it’s an expensive couch. I’m sure it’s Scotch-guarded, And it cleans up. Or the stain would be a lovely reminder of a wonderful time the two of them shared.

MamaKat


Have you seen the following articles?
The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle: a critique
In praise of Fascinating Womanhood
Do you have a commanding presence?
Empowering dominance
My fascinating journey
Melanie surrenders
The Taming of the Shrew
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
The difference between dominant and controlling
Who needs forbidden fruit when you have this?

RE: Surrendered Wife

And I quote:

Or the stain would be a lovely reminder of a wonderful time the two of them shared.

Or a constant reminder of the $6k that just went down the toilet...

This couldn't happen in our house

My husband would be the one worrying about the beer getting spilt, not me, I'd be the one more likely to be saying "Oh, who cares about the stupid beer?" (though I would undoubtedly be made to feel sorry that I had said this afterwards "Insolence will not be tolerated" as He Who Must Be Obeyed frequently remarks).

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.