American Beauty meets The Surrendered Wife
Picture the couple, laughing and talking. They share a poignant moment, and suddenly find themselves locked in a passionate embrace. It looks like they’re going to really go for it...clothes are being tugged off, lips can’t seem to hold still…until she looks over and says, “You’re going to spill that beer on the couch.”
This was a scene from American Beauty. For those who have seen it, didn't you just cringe when you saw the behaviour of the wife? Have you ever cringed because you have found yourself acting or sounding like her?
Well, for controlling women, for women who feel like they married morons, who are disillusioned, feeling like the only adult in the house, feeling martyred, stressed out, and overwhelmed, there is help.
Help comes in the form of a paperback book called The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle. The book discusses concrete ways to increase intimacy in your relationship, and help you recall why you married him in the first place. It advocates self-care: taking care of yourself so you’re not so stressed out, and also to fill your time more so you’re not waiting for hubby to make you happy.
The website for the book is a good place to begin. There are two chapters from the book excerpted there, and a quiz to see where you stand now in the controlling department. Remember, this is for you, so be as honest with yourself as possible.
Think about it: that couple from the movie, American Beauty, could have saved their marriage had they gone through with the lovemaking. Surrendering is about letting go of the things that don’t matter quite so much, in favor of closeness and real intimacy with your spouse. OK, so it’s an expensive couch. I’m sure it’s Scotch-guarded, And it cleans up. Or the stain would be a lovely reminder of a wonderful time the two of them shared.
Have you seen the following articles?
The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle: a critique
In praise of Fascinating Womanhood
Do you have a commanding presence?
Empowering dominance
My fascinating journey
Melanie surrenders
The Taming of the Shrew
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
The difference between dominant and controlling
Who needs forbidden fruit when you have this?
Comments
#1 RE: Surrendered Wife
And I quote:
Or a constant reminder of the $6k that just went down the toilet...
#2 This couldn't happen in our house
My husband would be the one worrying about the beer getting spilt, not me, I'd be the one more likely to be saying "Oh, who cares about the stupid beer?" (though I would undoubtedly be made to feel sorry that I had said this afterwards "Insolence will not be tolerated" as He Who Must Be Obeyed frequently remarks).
#3 $6k sofas
Are strange creatures; they're almost sentient.
If one is purchased without an appropriate sized budget to be easily replaced. It will immediately release secret destructive chemicals to counteract any stainproofing treatments it receives.
Simultaneously, it sends signals to the brains of the men in the house suggesting that eating and drinking assorted caustic items while lounging on it is a good thing, even better in stinky, sweaty football clothing and muddy sneakers.
On the other hand, if the $6K sofa is aware that it is easily replaced, it behaves itself quite nicely. It happily accepts its stainproofing treatments. It also sends signals to the lovely TakenInHand wife about the handiness of a handheld steam cleaner, and the magical uses of club soda.
"A constant reminder of the 6K that just went down the toilet"??? REALLY?? The man had a beer not a bloody mary.
Cricket