Two questions

Two questions

First question: What's the difference between Taken In Hand and DD (domestic discipline)?

Second question: What's so great about men that they get to be in charge?

What's the difference?

I think the difference is that while a Taken In Hand relationship can include DD, it doesn't have to. There are some people on this website who do not practice DD as part of their relationship, but are still Taken In Hand. The idea behind Taken In Hand is, I think, that the relationship is male-led, but doesn't necessarily include DD.

As for your second question, the reason my husband gets to be in charge, as far as I'm concerned, is that I find it sexy. I don't believe there's any natural law that says my husband should be in charge, and I don't believe it's ordained by God or anything like that. I don't believe that a Taken In Hand marriage is necessarily any more or less likely to fail than a more equal marriage (to believe any such thing is inviting hubris, in my opinion). It just turns me on.

The difference between DD and Taken In Hand

As far as I am concerned there is no difference between DD and Taken in Hand. I think that a taken in hand relationship could be female led. I do not see why not. I have known of DD couples who were female led and it seemed to work very well for them, and their relationship seemed quite similar to mine; only the roles were reversed.

the boss does not agree with me on this, if you look on the left hand side bar her "glossary of terms" describes DD and Taken in Hand slightly different. Like I said for us I think it is the same thing. I think you can have domestic discipline without any kind of spanking. I think many DD couples recognize how erotic spanking is. We do not really pay attention to the definition in our relationship, so it only really matters when you are discussing it with people on websites!

Why should men not lead? My husband is good at being in charge and we like the effect it has on our marriage. We came to this after being married for 10 years, and things are really much better for us now. If he was not good at it, we certainly would not have him in charge. We are just happier when he is. We also do not come at from religious reasons. I am not sure if it is more natural or not. It seems to be for us, but I know that many people express that it is not for them. I can only take their word for it.

Take care,
Tevemer

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