Domestic discipline embraces the natural unity of masculine dominance and feminine submission. That forms a starting point. Dominance and submission. Words that have been contaminated by association with BDSM practices. Warped by the fear driven ideology of feminism. And in general, wholly and tragically misunderstood, across society, and the media which panders to it. (Though sometimes I think that it is the other way around.) So that the word dominate, immediately evokes either depraved or hurtful connotations. What is not immediately educed, are thoughts of masculine tenderness and support. Of love and intimacy. And so too the word submissive. What springs immediately to the mind of most are either the unregenerate images of BDSM, or negative associations of weakness, lack of self worth. Not a natural state of femininity, innate, bound to masculine dominance. Not strength, freedom and fulfilment. Yet in meaning this is surely the true essence of the word. As truly as that which is not evoked by the word dominate is the reality.

Let's look at BDSM first. Operating on the premise that dominance or submission is something which is adopted in much the same way that one would put on or take off a coat, it ignores completely any associations that would put these qualities as innate to gender. And then goes further. Totally ignoring the deep level of love and intimacy, necessary if a woman is to have submission drawn from her. Instead displaying all the moral vacuity in the interaction of the flesh of a swingers' party.

As a 6 foot male of 100kgs of muscle, the base physical reality is that I could take any woman I desired. Yet I would not do this. I would never hurt in such a manner. Yet physical reality is not changed by this. And so the idea of silly little girls, ensconced in their own private delusion, running around calling themselves mistress and dominatrix is one that always brings a smile to my face. (As too does the idea of ridiculous little boys running around calling themselves master. A wolf knows what it is and has no need to call itself such. I have looked upon a woman seeing the knowledge full in her eyes that I owned her, that same simple truth burning in my eyes for her too. Yet have never commanded to be called master. Nor had she any desire to. She was mine. An unalterable truth. Beyond such ludicrous classifications as master and slave.)

Then of course there are those areas which incorporate males who call themselves submissives, as well as the area inhabited by homo/bi/trans sexuality of both genders. Something so beyond my own ability to comprehend that to try to do so, is, for myself, akin to trying to imagine the social interplay of alien life on a planet on the other side of the galaxy.

It is regrettable that even within DD circles which eschew most of what BDSM incorporates, that the classifications of Dom and Sub have found frequent usage. For this bespeaks on the part of a woman that that which is felt at an innate level is somehow unnatural, or at best a fetishistic kink. As a man I do not refer to myself as a man who desires a woman's body. For it does not need to be said. It is wholly superfluous. For that very desire I feel is the reason all of us exist today.

A man looking upon a woman with desire, wanting to take her. A woman looking upon a man with desire. Wanting to be taken.

In the same manner. A natural desire to be dominated by a male. To have submission drawn from her. Is wholly inherent to a woman, to the female animal she is. An animal, as much governed by these preordained innate characteristics as is the male animal.

A woman would not refer to herself as a woman with breasts. Yet the submission she feels arise within her in response to male dominance is as natural and innate a part of her. Yet feeling the need to justify what is felt, in the face of the lingering deleterious associations given by BDSM, feminism and general societal views, the self classification “Sub”, which is tacitly apologetic, is given. Yet the reality is of course that a woman need not say such a thing. Need not say, “I am a submissive woman.” But instead merely say, “I am a woman.”

Then there are the views hammered into women by the feminazis, (who take the wholly amazing standpoint of saying a woman can be anything she wants to be [which is true], but only as long she wishes to be what we dictate she should want to be), that submission is inherently bad. That reliance upon a male is irrevocably weak. (Never minding the fact that a male in a wholly intimate union with a woman is just as reliant upon her, albeit in a different manner, as different as masculine and feminine.) Such a view inspired by both a fear of masculinity, and the natural bond femininity creates as it merges with it, along with the dogmatic psychosis of lesbianism, has permeated society, albeit in a less shrill, strident form.

And yet a woman who is truly dominated, truly owned by a man, is not weak. Indeed she knows her greatest strength. Loved and supported, cherished. She is in a position to realise all her dreams. To be all that she can be. Wholly secure in her femininity, in her self worth. For that is what nurturing masculine dominance desires above all else.

I have drawn submission from women with my strength and dominance, yet never have I beheld weakness.

A domineering man however possessed of only weakness, seeks to suppress all that a woman might be. Hiding from his fears and insecurities and the deep self loathing they bring in the safety he feels at the delusion of power over another. A woman, victim of such a man, does not exist in a state of submission, rather subjugation. A strong, dominant man, knows who he is. And has no need to belittle his woman.

Something else which is also tragically misbelieved by so many women is the imagined idea that submission can be given. That it is their responsibility to give it whether to a husband or a boyfriend. A misbelief which occasions so many letters to DD lists. Women asking how they might do this, in the mistaken hope that they will be provided with some sort of magical key.

As a man I could not force myself to feel either desire or love for a woman for whom I felt nothing. Any more than I could force myself to feel anticipatory desire for a food which disgusts me (sushi), or force myself to feel that sensation of electricity poured down over the flesh of the spine and out along the limbs in response to a piece of music that speaks directly to my soul, when what assailed my ears held all the audible appeal of a cat being pulled backwards through a chain link fence.

So too a woman cannot force herself to feel submission. Anymore than she could force herself to feel any of these other emotions. A woman knows when she is in the presence of a man, as opposed to a little boy in an adult body. This knowledge is wholly helpless in its instinctual nature. As too is submission. When a woman feels submission drawn from her in response to a man's strength, dominance and tenderness, she stands wholly powerless in its path, swept away, consumed.

A woman has no responsibility to give submission to a man. Rather it is the man that must be possessed of the strength great enough to take hold of this her most precious of gifts and draw it from her. Correlating to this, a man cannot be taught to be dominant, to be strong, by a woman. A man must discover who he is and what he believes, and whether or not he has the courage to stand strong and alone against the world and pursue his desires, his dreams, his truths. This is a journey of discovery that each man must walk alone.

Now we come to the issue of spanking. One that while not central to DD (a woman could be spanked for a thousand years by a man who did not cause submission to arise within her heart, and feel nothing but physical pain, whereas with one glance from the man to whom she belongs, she can feel submission arise within her so strongly that she trembles) is certainly an important component.

Why over the knees?

A question often asked.

We are physical beings and in the intimacies of the flesh, different positions evoke different emotional responses. Take sexual positions. The emotional response occasioned by the missionary position, one of tenderness and intimacy, differs greatly from that which is occasioned by the doggy position. Where raw animal passion and abandonment comes to the fore. No-one questions as to why this occurs. It is simply acknowledged that some physical positions will naturally arise different emotions within us. So too then the act of being taken across the knees, held there. It is a position which naturally evokes feelings of vulnerability, submissiveness, and surrender to masculine power within a woman. And feelings of dominance, possession and power within a man. But that is but one minor component. The physical pain that comes as the result of the spanking will, depending upon how the spanking is given (which is related directly to the reason for the spanking being given) evoke a wide range of emotional responses. From heated desire through to complete intimacy, security and reassurance.

It is at this point that distinction should be given between the two types of spankings. Those of punishment spankings. And those of Reassurance spankings. (Referred to by some as maintenance spankings. A term obviously coined by some half-wit. Maintenance is something you perform on a car. Not a woman.)

Punishment spankings occur when a woman without good reason, has been disobedient or disrespectful to the man to whom she belongs. And has broken a command that he has issued. When this behaviour occurs it is always known by a woman. And in such circumstances she must always receive a punishment spanking. Always.

Without consistency in enforcing what he himself has commanded of his woman, and taking her over his knees, a man wholly fails his woman, himself and their relationship. For when this does not occur, a woman is denied feeling the loving, nurturing, ever constant embrace of his dominance.

A punishment spanking is not to be taken lightly. And for the extreme physical pain they bring, coupled with the emotional pain at the feeling of having failed her man and herself, they are feared greatly by a woman. A fear which brings with it the knowledge that if by her behaviour she earns one, then there is nothing that she can do, either by way of pleading, or even physical resistance, that will prevent her from receiving one.

In truth such spankings should be rare. For the disobedience that would occasion one to be given does not simply arise out of nowhere. And a man who is attentive to his woman and intuitive of her needs, will see the beginnings of such disobedience, manifesting itself in a variety of minor ways, as a woman naturally pushes out against her man, wanting to feel the solid reassurance of his dominance, of his love, around her.

Here what is required is a Reassurance spanking. A term which covers the spectrum, from those spankings given in masculine desire, the desire to simply have her across his knees. To those that occur in response to feminine desire. The desire, the need, to feel his dominance over her, the physical acting as a doorway by which far deeper emotional levels may be reached.

A WOMAN SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO ASK FOR THIS NEED TO BE MET.

Physical arousal at the pain experienced during Reassurance spankings (which can be of varied intensity, but never approach that which is experienced in a Punishment spanking) is normal and should not be thought of as masochistic deviance. A woman does not get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and stub her toe, and as a result start hopping around in pain, while all the while feeling orgasm exploding within her. But the thought of being taken across her man's knees, of the feeling of being wholly and utterly his. Of associating this with the pain that such a Reassurance spanking will bring, will naturally cause many women to feel heated arousal. Purely then it is the association of the pain, the context within which it occurs which causes arousal to be felt. At a base level the act of penis entering vagina is the same whether it occurs during the act of rape, or the act of making love. It is the context within which it occurs and the associations that this brings that makes all the difference. On the issue of feeling arousal at the pain of a Reassurance spanking it is exactly the same.

All that has been written so far, has barely scratched the surface of the multitudinous issues that arise within DD. Particularly this last section. Which gave only the barest outline of a woman's emotional response to the act of being spanked. Of her natural need and desire for it. This was done for the sake of brevity. For this area is one which, to adequately cover with any appreciable depth, would require a body of writing, which, would make what as been written so far, be as merely a solitary grain of sand against the entire Sahara.

Yet it is my hope that some who have read what is written will derive personal benefit from my beliefs, my words. Though I do not hold for a moment that all will.

Though the same song is played, each ear, each heart, perceives a very different tune.

Aiden

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