Mistakes made in forming relationships

One common mistake that women make is in expecting men to take the lead in establishing a relationship. While true to the ideal, these days passively taking what comes along often results in women wishing to be taken in hand all too often dating aggressive – even predatory – wolves rather than assertive men. Smooth talkers do not always make for good husbands or even decent friends!

A second mistake that women make is in trying to trade up in men. Having found one man capable of satisfying their needs, some women want to find someone better. Since the grass tends to appear greener on the other side of the fence, once women jump over the fence – so to speak – that which they left often appears to be better than their new relationship. This leads to regrets and confusion in that the woman begins to doubt her ability to judge men.

A third mistake is – made more by men than by women, but which can seriously affect a relationship if made by the woman – in expecting too much too soon. Patience in relationships is a virtue. Impatience in relationship can be deadly to relationships – or even in finding someone with whom to establish a relationship.

A fourth mistake is – made by men as much as women – in trying to change the rules of the relationship after the wedding. This nasty little surprise has wrecked more marriages than seashells on the seashore. Like trying to trade up in men, past failed relationships can adversely affect a woman's ability to adequately appraise men.

A little honesty can go a long way in improving one's chances for success. Conversely, someone incapable of appreciating honesty also lacks the empathy necessary for a long-term relationship.

To establish a workable relationship, a woman needs to look for a man who really wants her as a person. Acceptance is as much of the formulation for a satisfactory relationship as being taken in hand for an old-fashioned straightening out. Some aspects of a woman's personality are not amenable to altering by thrashing.

Conversely, even among dire warnings to the contrary, the courageous man is seldom totally averse to soundly smacking the bottom of a woman whom he really wants to keep if he finds her behavior detrimental to their relationship.

Still, there are no perfect men any more than there are perfect women in this world. As more than a few wise observers have pointed out, “If you found the truly perfect man [or woman] would he [or she] really want to have anything to do with you?”

Good marriages are made. Spontaneous generation of first-class marriages is about as common as the spontaneous generation of viable life forms! Marriages supposedly made in heaven require a tremendous amount of work on earth.

Noone

Take the Taken In Hand tour

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2004 Nov 17 - 13:36 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |