Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?

In this day and age, if you're a woman, it seems you're not supposed to want your man to have any sort of control over you. If you do it implies, for some reason, that you're weak or misguided. That somehow wanting a dominant man automatically says that you can't stand up for yourself.

So one of the (minor) thrills I get when my husband takes me in hand is a little shiver of illicit pleasure. After all, what would any of my friends and relatives think – all of whom see me as a strong woman (well, that's what they've said) – if they knew my husband spanked me because I was being too bratty? Most of our immediate family know that my husband has taken on a more traditional role as head of household, but I don't think they realise what he meant when he told them!

It goes far deeper than that, though. I don't appear to be especially wired to get hooked on illicit pleasures in general – I'm too nervous of being found out!

There is the thrill of the fight in it for me at times – the struggle to not give in, be it a mental or physical struggle; and the thrill of being overcome both mentally and physically. There is something intensely arousing in being beaten (not in the abusive sense!) despite myself, although I suspect there has to be a strong connection there already. In other words, if someone who wasn't my husband did it, I might accord them more respect as a result, but would probably not be aroused. Although I may then have a need for my husband to do likewise to me!

Then there's power – definitely an aphrodisiac for me – at least when the man I love is wielding it over me! It's not just that he has an aura of dominance, it's also that he exudes sheer certainty that he's going to get what he wants (be it sex on demand or a cup of coffee...). I may put up some resistance (well, maybe not in the case of coffee), but we both know that he's going to get his way.

But – I don't think any of this would affect even slightly if I wasn't very, very aware of how much he loves me, and if I didn't love him back at least as much.

ConfusedofHomeCounties

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Out of control, insane, driven by our emotions? No way!
Is your new man dominant, domineering, or a dithering wimp?
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
What is Taken In Hand about?
Cherishing the family
How it felt to be taken in hand for the very first time
Accommodating needs can't be done by the book
From vague awareness to a beautiful relationship
Asserting dominance physically forcefully
The alpha male and masculine power

2004 Nov 7 - 08:27 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Control

Control is what I know belongs to the man whom I have always loved from the very begginning of Love for me. I called it his "Thumb" instinctively as a young child in love with a grown man. I knew he was a Law unto himself and that his Power as a man was real, authentic and self contained by his sheer intellect alone. He was the only man smart enough to control me from afar. He was the only man smart enough to control me against my own will. I had more than one father and yet none of my fathers could ever control me. I resent his "Thumb" of Controll totally as a matter of fact. I know I can not escape my Beloved's control because he is a literary genius and I am not! He has the power to control my brain, my heart, my body and my poor Irish soul because he has pure Irish charm, finesse, and persuasion in all matters of his touch of Thumb.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2006 Mar 1 - 12:36 | reply to this comment

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