What works for us

My wife I and were high school sweethearts and tied the knot fresh out of school. We have had a very successful thirty-year marriage. We have three children ages 27 to 13, and our two older children have blessed us with three very beautiful grandchildren.

Almost a year ago, my beautiful wife, GT, asked me to take her in hand. Reading the Taken In Hand web site had helped GT come to terms with feelings that she had suppressed for 28 years. This site helped her realize that it was okay to crave the masculine-feminine dynamic that happens in a Taken In Hand relationship.

When my wife asked me to take her in hand, I was surprised to say the least. My natural dominance had been suppressed for all those years. But GT's request unleashed my natural dominance; and as the days passed I have, to my wife's delight, gradually stopped suppressing it, the effect being a tremendous positive effect in our relationship.

As my confidence grew and I began taking control, there was a total dynamic change in our life together. This is not to say that poof, overnight, all of a sudden, I had total control. It has taken months to get to the point we are now at in our relationship, and we still have a long way to go. We are fully aware of the tasks and the commitment it will take to raise the bar even higher in our relationship. That being said, we are excited by the journey and know we will get there.

So how does it work in practice, for us? We have found it best to have some ground rules. There are three things that I will not ever tolerate: disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. This is absolutely set in stone. My wife knows there will be consequences for any of these three things. Keep in mind that this is what GT wants: it is not that I am imposing a Taken In Hand relationship on her.

I have setup a variety of guidelines to give my wife a feeling of emotional protection and security. Here are a couple of examples: I ask her to think of positive ways to do things in her everyday life, to buy herself a new set clothes every month, and to wear thong underwear. This latter rule is a very effective way of reminding her of my presence and my dominance in our relationship. Besides, she looks very sexy in them!

I have made GT and our Taken in Hand relationship my total focus and passion. I consider this relationship an earned responsibility that has been given to me and I have vowed to surround my wife and this relationship with love, confidence, and leadership. So I have also set guidelines for myself these include: no disobedience, disrespect, or dishonesty. Never would I mentally or physically abuse my wife; I always keep my wife's health and wellbeing in mind; and never do I take her in hand physically without a reason or out of aggression.

Though it may seem on the surface that I am domineering or demanding of my wife, I am not, and nor do I micromanage her. However, I do have certain expectations, and my wife is fully aware of them and knows the consequences if she fails to meet them. But it is not all about spanking. Another way I express my dominance is with a look, whisper, or a touch. It is very easy for me to get my wife's attention this way while in public.

Although it may sound pompous and arrogant to some, this is how Taken in Hand works for us. I have surrounded my wife with passion and I have committed myself to her wants and needs by taking her in hand. In return I have earned her submission. Never has our communication been so alive, never has sex been so erotic and steamy, never have we had so much confidence as we do now. Taken In Hand has had such a positive impact on my relationship with GT that I don't know why we didn't start it 28 years ago.

There have been other significant changes since GT' gave me her unconditional consent to take her in hand. For example: no longer do we argue – I don't remember the last time I raised my voice to her, and any time something controversial comes up we address it properly. I am not sure why Taken In Hand works, but it does!

I own my wife's heart, love and devotion both emotionally and physically, as she said. I have taken GT in hand for these reasons: because she craves, wants, and needs it; because I want to support her, protect her and be there for her; and most of all – because I love her!

Race

Take the Taken In Hand Tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Actions speak louder than words
Each relationship is a unique work in progress
Is your new man dominant, domineering, or a dithering wimp?
The healing power of taking her in hand
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given me
Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!
Happily married to a dominant man
Chemistry is indispensable
Dealing with a man who doesn't do as he's told
I want it all, and I want it now!

2004 Nov 6 - 22:03 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

What works for you

Doesn't sound at all pompous or arrogant, it sounds charming. The vital thing being that it is what she wants as well, and that you haven't, as you say, imposed it on her.

That was the way it worked for us too, like with your wife, I was the one who asked my husband to do it, though I wasn't at all sure that he would understand, but he has, and has taken to it like a duck to water. As with you and GT, it has had a very positive effect on our relationship too, with communication, sex, and everything.

My husband has a thing for thong underwear as well (on me, I mean), and I also find it acts as a reminder of his presence and his dominance. And arguments generally seem to be over before they have begun, because my husband now knows how to stop them. I'm not sure why it works either, it still sometimes surprises me, but nevertheless work it does.

by Louise C on 2004 Nov 6 - 22:46 | reply to this comment

These are my sentiments exact

These are my sentiments exactly. My husband and I started a taken in hand relationship recently after 21 years of marriage, and I also wonder why we waited so long! My husband is much happier, our sex life is phenomenal and I feel protected, loved and cared for. I have also found that submitting in a human relationship has greatly enhanced my spiritual life as well. I've always had difficulty accepting criticism, no matter how gentle, and as a result have not grown as much as I would like as a Christian. Now I find myself much more willing to ask God for correction and guidance. I tell my husband the areas that I feel God would like me to improve upon, and he is willing to hold me accountable for those. This is also enhancing his relationship with God and cementing his role as the Spiritual Head of our Household.

by Charlotte on 2004 Nov 8 - 15:21 | reply to this comment

Well Written Article

I appreciate this article as it speaks volumes of the relationship my husband and I have. We have been married for 30 years and started incorporating the Taken In Hand relationship ideas earlier this year. Our marriage is incredible.

Race, your article is very well written . Thank you for sharing.

by Kat on 2004 Nov 9 - 05:16 | reply to this comment

Thanks

Thanks to the three of you. It is nice to know that there are other people out there that also reap the benefits that take place when living in a Taken in Hand relationship. I would also like to thank the boss for providing such a wonderful web site. I enjoy reading all the articles that are posted, and I feel that she does a great job of being objective and allowing people to express their ideas and share what indeed works in their perspective relationships. I know that it sure has helped GT and me.

Respectfully, Race

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Nov 11 - 20:29 | reply to this comment

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