When I'm in overdrive...

Often my husband is very busy with business. Particularly now, he has been very busy at work with his corporate year end, combined with his predictions of numbers for next year. He has not been spending a lot of time with me.

When I am left to my own devices, and the world at large has me making executive decisions that require modified changes, I start to rev up. I start to think faster, expect things to happen to me faster, and start to process faster. I also start to see things faster, and I come to feel pressured. All this is not really happening, it is simply my perception.

Now, when Gary is readily available and I get to talk over events as they happen, he slows things down. We talk and I am given opportunity to voice my own thoughts and then come to a conclusion without feeling pressured.

When he is busy and not as available, I seem to move into overdrive. Now, he does eventually come home. He spends time observing me, and finding out just how fast I am working. He tells me I'm going too fast. He pins me with his eyes and tells me to slow down.

We both recognize that I need to unload, and I spend a day or so telling him everything that comes into my mind that I would like him to know, often important items.

Well, it seems I am at my happiest when my world is very small. Actually when my world is about 6'3", or Gary size. During our nightly transition he guides me into a relaxed state. I am stroked, talked to and gentled. Then I am taken into the bedroom where I am told to be very submissive. I am not to speak, I am now completely focused on what is expected of me.

I am usually spanked, or cropped, and often hard. It is in this connection, this ritual over his lap, the sensation of his hand stroking my bottom. His arms that I lay in and recover and connect and give up my busyness.

He asserts himself in the most gentle yet dominant of ways. So in a way, he solves my problem of not being my usual happy self, and brings me all the security I crave, establishes his role as leader and comforts us both by paying attention.

Blush

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2003 Oct 14 - 10:04 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Attention

Blush --

What you say about Gary's dominance being gentle and the cropping and spanking giving you security and being comforting because he is paying attention -- I know what you're talking about. It's the connection, isn't it? Through this love and intensity you share, you feel the connection even more.

by Helen on 2003 Oct 15 - 17:37 | reply to this comment

Attention...

Dear Helen,
Thank you for your comment.
Gary is quite an imposing man. To most people, I suppose. For me, he is simply Gary.
And where others see him as direct, firm and aloof....I see him warm, loving and the most nurturing man I have ever met.
But he says I bring that out in him.
And as far as paying attention..he often asks me if I am comfortable being under the microscope all the time.
And I say..yes..I am.

When it comes to me, he is patient, permenanently warm and I never worry that he doesn't love me.
And his dominance...it is gentle when it comes to me. He leaves me no doubt about his being dominant...but he flexes his muscle...always in my favour.
And you are so right...when he choses to spank or crop me...it done with love and caring.
And yes...the connection is so strong...I don't have words to explain the strength...but it is the deepest love.

by Blush on 2003 Oct 17 - 15:21 | reply to this comment

To Blush

You sound like you have the BEST relationship there. I envy you! How did you find your Gary?

by Jenny on 2003 Oct 19 - 20:33 | reply to this comment

From Blush..

Jenny, it seems that I hear that envious word from time to time.

I have to say I earned Gary. I have been in such intolerable situations so much of my life, I worked to find this one.

I met Gary when I was not looking.

I was to go into the hospital.

I had a 2 year old and I was a single mom.

I was ill, scared and had given up wearing makeup and caring.

I had planned on raising my daughter and when she were older, I may start to sniff around again.

I met Gary by chance.

He was sitting across from me in a coffee shop.

He was staring at me. I looked up and we spoke.

He asked me for my number, and I gave it. In the unsuing conversations, I told him a few times we had nothing in common but he seemed like a nice man.

He simply took over, dominated the conversations, and we started to get to now each other over the phone. He lived 100 miles away, and travelled a bunch. I had had an intensive leg operation that kept me bed bound for the next 10 months.

We got to know each other. We fell love, he first actually and he has been my lover/friend/parent/dominant ever since.

He loves me, I am secure to know he always will, and I am deeply in love back.

We seemed to earn each other by overcoming other obstacles in our lives.

Thank you for your kind words.....Blush

by Blush on 2003 Oct 20 - 02:32 | reply to this comment

Overdrive

I too have a tendancy to go into "overdrive" which is very exasperating as my brain races so much at times I find myself not able to even think clearly. This is usually brought on by stress. Of course, I have to admit that I probably bring it on myself. I love the idea of someone helping me or forcing me to calm down but never thought of being spanked for it - how does that help?

I hope I am lucky enough to find my own "Gary"!

Tmir

by tmir on 2003 Oct 21 - 17:32 | reply to this comment

"Spanking" good medicine

I am so happy to have found this site just a couple of days ago. I commend all of you who have written for being so open and sincere about your relationships and sharing your wonderful life experiences with the rest of us.

Reading about you has made my wife and I realize that we are not so unusual in our desire to live an HOH DD life. By reading all your letters, we have been able to advance to higher levels in our relationship and are much happier for it.

SPANKYOU VERY MUCH

DADDYSIR

by DADDYSIR on 2003 Nov 16 - 06:30 | reply to this comment

Wishing and Hoping

Ugh, I am often in overdrive like this and wish there was someone to slow me down! To care about me so much and be able to realize when I'm doing too much and trying to hard and getting me to focus on the most important things. Sometimes when I get too overwhelmed I can't get the important things done because they seem so big. I once had a boyfriend who would break things down for me sometimes. Try to rationalize out for me and put homework into smaller more manageable pieces according to what would affect my grade the most and which classes I needed to work harder in and such. That was helpful. But he soon got tired of needing to do that for me. I wish I had someone to help me to take better care of myself.

by Berry on 2008 Oct 6 - 06:47 | reply to this comment

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