I'm so lucky to have found the right man

I am a really difficult individual. I'm very highly strung, argumentative, passionate, clever and willing to use that as a weapon and I'm not exactly a shrinking violet physically either, I'm tall, very fit and strong. I know I scare most men witless. And subconsciously I have been looking for a man who isn't cowered into submission by me for my whole adult life. That has led me to a lot of complete idiots – generally they are so tied up in their own little world that they are simply too disinterested in anybody else to feel intimidated by them. Not a good start and certainly not the type you want to start talking to about getting to the soft and cuddly vulnerable bits inside.

I can't believe how lucky I've been finding Mark. He has his faults but he is so strong and centred and emotionally intelligent that opening up to him comes quite naturally and easily. We've done a fair amount of fighting over the past couple of years, mainly because I kept on picking them. I must have given him some hints without realising it that I didn't want to win the battle for supremacy within our household and luckily for me he came to the whole idea of this lifestyle for us. Once we'd commenced on this journey though, I realised it is exactly what I've been looking for.

I've fantasised for years about being spanked, truth be told since childhood. I don't know that I ever wanted that fantasy to be acted out though. Now it has, the reality of a punishment, of being put over my husband's knee and ending up crying, bruised and in pain is a huge distance from those fantasies – they were really I guess about erotic spankings, they certainly did not involve bruises and an inability to wear tight jeans for several days after!

I didn't tell Mark about any of this until after he had first caned me. He said that he didn't feel that what he was going to deliver had anything to do with titillation and that the whole point is the lifestyle we live and the fact that we are both working towards him not having to spank me often or at all.

If you are simply looking for the right partner, I don't think that you'll have the problem of getting into a DD relationship then deciding you don't want it and feeling like you've led the guy astray because if you find the right guy you won't be leading him anywhere – he'll be leading you. You don't need to find a guy who is ‘into’ DD, you need to find a guy who has a natural leadership quality and whose attitude to your strength is to see that really you are a woman crying out not to have to hold up the whole world all on your own and that you need a safe haven with somebody to take some of the load off for you by taking decisions and taking control. Once you've got there, you can talk to him and ask him to try implementing some of that control by spanking if that is what you want.

Issie

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Why you shouldn't mention the ‘M’ word
If I asked for the moon...
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
I want... to be possessed
My perfect guy, and the marriage he has given me
Women want men who are more dominant
Communication, consent and connection
Domestic discipline (DD)
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
I want it all, and I want it now!

2003 Oct 19 - 10:43 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Find a good guy

I second that. Find a GOOD guy, not a DD guy. Sure, he's gotta be able to take you in hand, but most guys can do that. Don't write a guy off because he's not the guy you thought. If he's a good guy he'll want to please you and if that means taking you over his knee, girlfriend, that's what he'll do!

by Jenny on 2003 Oct 19 - 20:19 | reply to this comment

Having A Good Guy!

Absolutely!!!

I'm new to this although it's something I had thought about most of my life.

As someone mentioned the fantasy of spanking does not live up to the reality. The sore bottom, perhaps bruising and feeling uncomforable while sitting and wearing tight clothing (even underwear).

However, what the couple get out of it far far outweighs any initial pain/discomfort.

First off, it's good to know that my man will take me in hand, regardless. He will not let me down no matter what, or let his own nerves or uncertainity (we are still new at this remember), stand in the way of our objective and what this will do for me.

My guy is a good guy. Gentle, loving, kind but I always knew he had it in him to take me in hand.

I'm so glad I brought it to his attention 2 weeks ago, and although at times it's been difficult to submit to certain situations, it had helped to re-focus me and to break down barriers, especially my own, and open communication on a level we have never had before.

I am so grateful I married my second husband 7 years ago, and we are now at this stage in our lives. We are reaping the benefits already. It just takes hard work, mistakes and commitment on both sides.

Marie.

by Marie on 2005 Apr 15 - 22:24 | reply to this comment

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