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The alpha male

What exactly is a human alpha male? Is it possible to become an alpha male? If so, how? Why some men might want to become alpha males. Misconceptions about alpha males. Are there alpha females too? Why is this interesting? Why you might want to know about it. The following articles and discussions address all these issues and more.

The alpha male and masculine power

This is the article that started it all. Being a phlegmatic sort of person, it is not often that the mere presence of another person has the power to do any more than make me recoil from the olfactory shock caused by their halitosis or their overpowering aftershave. But very occasionally (about once a decade) I have found myself intensely affected by the mere presence of a man – so intensely affected that it has taken every ounce of self-control to appear unmoved. Why?

Do you have a commanding presence?

Do you command respect and even obedience without even trying? Do you have natural authority, or would you have trouble controlling even a worm? Alpha males naturally have a commanding presence. If you don't, but wish you did, this article may help.

Women want men who are more dominant

If we are to believe some research done in the 1930s and early ’40s, whether a woman is what Maslow called “high dominance”, “medium dominance”, or “low dominance”, she wants a man who is a little more dominant than she is.

Human alpha, beta, and omega males: the reality

On the subject of the reality of the phenomenon of human alpha males, beta males and omega males.

Sat, 25/09/2004 - 12:23

What women don't want

Lonnie sounds a note of caution about the advice of books and websites aiming to help men appear to be alpha males.

Tue, 28/09/2004 - 08:55

The freedom to be an alpha male: the joy!

Don't miss this comment! It is Adjel's charming account of how, when she in effect gave her husband permission to do so, he stopped suppressing his alpha male characteristics, and everything evolved from there in a most delightful way. Adjel, I hope you will submit an article!

Sat, 14/08/2004 - 00:45

Who says you have to be submissive?

Women who might be described as alpha females tend to attract lots of submissive men. What is a woman to do if she is dominant and strong but she is drawn to men who are even more dominant than she is, and not to submissive men? Try to suppress her alpha tendencies? Try to become more beta? Try to act submissive even when she doesn't feel it? What do you think?

What are mere mortals to do?

If you think you are just an ordinary (non-super-)man, don't lose heart! Read Stephen's post.

The Alpha Male

Another reader comments on the alpha male concept.

Do I have this Male Power?

Ian says that not only does he not make the grade as an alpha male, he is struggling even at the beta level and is wondering if there are any delta females out there for him!

Another Man's View...

Don't miss this wonderful piece by Sam.

Natural Dominance

Frank Nelson's fascinating view of this idea.

Alpha Males and Alpha Females

Is masculine power really an elusive recipe? David says not.

Asserting dominance physically forcefully

Many women have little or no interest in being spanked but would enjoy being overpowered physically by a man. Who hasn't enjoyed rough-and-tumble ‘wrestling’, pillow-fighting, or tickling with a man who is much stronger?! So for those who are interested, here are some imaginitive physically forceful ways of exerting control.

Thu, 21/10/2004 - 09:00

Alpha males DO have Masculine Power

A passionate statement from the wife of an alpha male.

Re: Alpha Males, Masculine Power, and Obedience

Ashley says that she naturally obeys when it is an alpha male telling her what to do.

Alpha male dominance

In a Taken In Hand relationship, the purpose of any physical force there may be is not correction but connection through dominant control. DeeMarie argues that if a man wants to be spanked, he has submissive tendencies that will be repulsive to some women reading Taken In Hand.

Sun, 17/10/2004 - 11:13

I am an alpha male ... sometimes

Steve says that being an alpha male is a situational thing: at work, he is an alpha male but outside work, he isn't.

Force of will

Many readers find the idea of control through sheer physical force exciting, but in this piece, Louise points out that it is the psychological control that her husband has over her (with his authoritative manner) that really excites her. (Note to Taken In Hand writers and potential writers: I'd like to put up more articles exploring the psychology of control (whether expressed physically forcefully or otherwise) should anyone feel like submitting an article or three.)

Fri, 22/10/2004 - 08:43

What works for me...

A great post about what women want, by ConfusedOfHomeCounties.

Don't forget your whip

A powerful article by .

Very few men continuously radiate masculine power

Bonnie Lass gives her take on the idea of masculine power and the alpha male.

Alpha Males and Alpha Females

Janey points out that there are alpha females too.

Do you 'meet as equals' or 'establish roles from the outset'?

How in the world can you create a male-controlled relationship if you meet and get to know each other as equals?

Thu, 06/10/2005 - 10:51

Never do without sex again

As DG says, I have been asking men to write on the subject of what they get out of their Taken In Hand relationships, and why other men might want to do the same. For DG's rather explosive answer, hit the read article link now.

Sat, 28/02/2004 - 10:50

Knights earn the name

This lyrical article expresses deep insights into what it means to be taken in hand, and how being taken in hand can help a woman become who she truly is. Breathtaking.

Wed, 18/08/2004 - 14:43

Quiet authority

Sassy on what it means for a man to have quiet authority.

Fri, 03/10/2003 - 12:16

Where are all the strong men?

Janet has tried dating New Men and has found them unexciting. She likes to be aware of the difference between her and her man. In this piece, she explains why.

Fri, 26/09/2003 - 22:52

The worm turns (a little late, but better late than never!)

Theo thinks that he has made a big mistake in how he has been relating to his wife, but reading Taken In Hand has given him hope for the future. Best of luck, Theo, and do let us know how it goes – I can't wait for the next exciting instalment!

Tue, 22/06/2004 - 12:52

Equality isn't all it's cracked up to be

A reader has written to ask what we have to say on the issue of so-called ‘equality’ and the criticism that Taken In Hand relationships can't possibly be healthy because they are not equal. Hit the read article link for an answer.

Sat, 27/03/2004 - 14:18

Are you dominant, domineering, or a dithering wimp?

Many women like dominant alpha males but few will stick around if you are either domineering or a dithering wimp.

Obedience

Right from the beginning of their relationship, Stephen's wife wanted him to wear the trousers. She was not interested in a relationship based on so-called equality. She expects to be obedient. To her, obedience is not only a matter of respect for me and our relationship, it adds an erotic charge to daily life. Yes, obedience is sexy. It is romantic. It creates passion!

Sat, 08/11/2003 - 10:44

An 1897 woman's “ideal of manhood”

Hit the read article link for some excerpts from an 1897 book whose author says: “Like every other woman, I have my ideal of manhood. The difficulty is to describe it. First of all, he must be a gentleman; but that means so much that it, in its turn, requires explanation...”

Tue, 30/03/2004 - 21:07

Why would a women want to be spanked?

In the absence of any noticeable psychological disorder or mind-altering substances, why would an intelligent woman want to be spanked? Even more mind-boggling, why would a grown woman who doesn't fantasise about being a little girl want to be spanked naked over her man's knee?

Fri, 03/09/2004 - 17:59

The Taming of the Shrew

If you like Taken In Hand and you don't know this play, you are in for a treat if you read this article. (Fear not! No knowledge of archaic language assumed!) If you too love this play, you will want to know which is the best production available on DVD/video, and which ones to avoid.

Wed, 15/10/2003 - 09:42

The impossibility of installing a spine in a pansy

After the flak we've been getting lately, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that The Yeti described Taken In Hand as: “A very cool site about married people.” Must be being sarcastic, I thought. (Well gosh, we seem to be regarded as in need of psychiatric help by even the nicest, most open-minded folks.) But to my amazement, I don't think he was being sarcastic.

Wed, 29/10/2003 - 23:48

Wanting a masterful man

This brilliant piece should have been on the front page long ago. Melanie's description of the wrestling with forbidden desires that she went through on her way to bliss will strike a chord with many, many readers. Please write more articles, Melanie!

Sun, 29/08/2004 - 11:12

The hazards of self-sacrifice and impossible standards

KrosRogue blamed his wife for the failure of their marriage and says that he developed expectations impossible for any woman to meet. Now he realises that he is responsible for his own self-sacrifice, and he is wrestling with his expectations.

Tue, 20/04/2004 - 08:27

Taken In Hand saved our marriage from doom

Baltazar talks about how he and his wife moved to a Taken In Hand relationship and how that helped stop rows getting out of hand and may just have saved their marriage.

Fri, 09/04/2004 - 05:28

He who dares, wins

Don't miss this fabulous account of how Bonnie 04 met her husband. As she herself says, it is a great story!

Sun, 28/03/2004 - 20:07

The difference between dominant and domineering

Domineering and subjugation are not about building, they are about tearing down.

Sat, 06/03/2004 - 09:24

Leadership, strength, emotional intimacy

This beautiful piece is a shining example of the sort of introduction that is welcome on Taken In Hand.

Sat, 07/02/2004 - 15:02

The dual failures of men

Although rarely explicit, a woman will frequently give implicit permission to a man to do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship together. She then expects him to act on her permission... If the man fails to act in a timely fashion, whatever love the woman has for him will, in time, crumble into a loathing for which there is no human cure.

Thu, 16/10/2003 - 09:14

Where are all the strong men?

Janet has tried dating New Men and has found them unexciting. She likes to be aware of the difference between her and her man. In this piece, she explains why.

Fri, 26/09/2003 - 22:52

Tradition, feminism, Victoria and Albert

The phrase taken in hand comes from the expressed sentiment that there are times in a woman's life when a man needs to take her in hand and straighten her out.

Tue, 30/09/2003 - 12:27

Don't go into your cave, get out your preferred implement!

An impassioned plea to men to stop going into their cave and start getting out the wooden spoon.

Wed, 01/10/2003 - 13:53