Are you under misapprehensions about Taken In Hand?

The first time I looked at Taken In Hand, I really wasn't sure there was anything here for me – but something had hooked me, and the more I read, the more I realised my initial assumptions were mistaken.

So, to summarise what I've picked up from this site:

Most people here think that each relationship is different, that the dynamics are different, and that what works for one may kill another.

Most people in Taken In Hand relationships would not dream of shoving their relationship style down another's throat as ‘the one true way’.

Most people here have arrived at their current arrangements through discussion with their partner, and where the man is in charge, that is something both want and have agreed to because it works for them.

Because one person is responsible for making the final decision, there is a lot more discussion before a decision is made, and the other person's views are respected a lot more.

Following on from the above, there is a lot more openness.

Both the husband and the wife will try their hardest not to do anything that will hurt the other. Maybe this should be top of this list, because it strikes me as one of the most important aspects. The allocation of power in a Taken In Hand-style relationship means that a lot more care has to be taken by both partners to ensure it doesn't become abusive. Communication is the key to any relationship, of course, but in a Taken In Hand-style relationship, the commitment made to actually listen to and understand your partner is far, far greater because the risks are that much worse. Yes, it is entirely possible to be completely open and honest in a relationship without the framework of Taken In Hand/DD, but some people find that framework helps.

A lot of people in this sort of relationship are highly sexual creatures who are not afraid to initiate sex.

Above all, a Taken In Hand-style relationship is about honesty and openness on both sides.

And finally, most of the women here seem to be strong women in the outside world, involved in jobs in all sectors, including male roles.

ConfusedofHomeCounties

Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Do you have a commanding presence?
Subjugation or submission?
The hazards of self-sacrifice and impossible standards
My deep dark secret
Is there consent?
A love letter
What's in it for the man? Freedom!
Obedience
Women want men who are more dominant
Could you be a slave, owned, property?

2004 Apr 18 - 19:53 | add new comment | latest article | previous article | next article |

Honesty and Openness on Both Sides

"Above all, a Taken In Hand-style relationship is about honesty and openness on both sides."

I find that to be SO very true! Before I am spanked, we discuss why it is going to occur. We often talk about other things I might have done instead of doing whatever it is that I'm in trouble for. I usually have a pretty good idea of what to expect by his choice of implement and the offence itself. After we've agreed to the consequences, I submit to the spanking. He has, on occasion, cut a punishment short for various reasons, but usually once I bend over and say I'm ready, I'm gonna get it! Afterward, we cuddle for a few minutes, just to let one another know that our love is still strong. Finally, we discuss how each of us felt about the spanking. At one point, I mentioned that I felt more intensity might increase the effectiveness. He took me at my word. The next time he spanked me it truly did hurt (quite a bit) as it was taking place and actually left quite an annoying stung in my posterior area for quite awhile afterward. He told me that he didn't particularly care for spanking me that hard--it certainly wasn't a turn-on for him, at any rate. I told him that I didn't much enjoy it either BUT that I felt it WAS what I had needed. A few days later, he commented that I seemed to be considering what I was doing more than I would have before that spanking. He pointed out that he had seen me start to do something I wasn't supposed to, pause, shake my head, and then do something else (LOL--I didn't even know he was watching me at the time!) I sort of think I have created a monster--now ALL punishment spankings are gonna hurt like the dickens...but isn't that the whole point?

by Taken in Hand Wife on 2007 Feb 10 - 03:44 | reply to this comment

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