Skip to main content

Introducing... Cat: “a promise made that must be kept”

I am a single 42 year old professional woman living in North Texas looking for that special someone to share the remainder of my life with. When I set out on this quest to find a life partner and soul-mate, I realized that search must first begin in knowing myself. So – I asked myself – who am I and what do I want? Two very simple questions with such complex answers. And not even complete answers as they will change over time as I continue to grow as a person.

So who am I? I am a strong woman – not in the physical sense but rather in will, mind and character. I am capable and competent. Over the years I have become very independent and self-reliant. This was not my goal or desire. It simply became a necessity as I found people were leaning on me instead of joining their strength with mine or allowing me to occasionally lean on them.

Unfortunately my strength has, more often than not, resulted in my being alone. Because of this my heart is filled with a great deal of fear, trepidation and even some anger at being repeatedly abandoned. To protect myself I retreat behind my castle walls, pull up the drawbridge and send out my dragon to engage in battle. While this may keep me safe it also keeps me isolated and alone.

Despite my strength I am innately feminine and revel in what it means to be a Lady. To be nurturing and caring. To submit my will to a strong, dominant man. To feel tiny and petite next to him. To feel safe and protected in his arms. To be free to play and tease. To be free to be myself at last.

I have come to believe that love is much more than a feeling of passion. Love is a promise made that must be kept. Passion dies and is rekindled as time and circumstances change. Love must not and cannot follow this cycle or it is not truly love. From my brief exploration into this Taken in Hand lifestyle, I have been drawn by the intimacy and commitment I see in the couples posting here on Taken in Hand and other similar sites. A level of intimacy I have been looking for all my life.

I had the good fortune to be raised in a loving, nurturing family. There I was taught about truth, love, honor, commitment, discipline and compassion for others. I am not a perfect being and never will be. It is an ongoing journey which I struggle with daily. I demand and expect the best of myself and those around me.

I am a woman of powerful emotions which are held back and hidden behind logic and reason. As a caring and nurturing woman, my own needs and desires are frequently left untended. Only when angry or at the end of my rope do I address what I need.

So now I have decided to try yet again to find my soul-mate. A frightening prospect as, once again, I run the risk of failure, rejection, and abandonment. Yet I believe I know my heart's desire and it is past time to explore the possibility.

So – what is my heart's desire? This is a much more difficult concept to grasp and explain with mere words. As a strong woman I need an equally strong or stronger man in courage, conscience and character. A man not intimidated by my strength of will but is proud of it and encourages it.

I want, need and demand a man to be my hero. A man who is not threatened by my overprotective dragon but one who can tame it. If a man is not strong enough to accomplish this daunting task, how can he protect me himself? And once again, the task is to tame the dragon, not destroy it. He will value and appreciate the services of my dragon – merely turning its instincts in another direction. After dismantling my “protector” he will naturally step in to fill the void.

He will be dominant and “lead” rather than domineering and “controlling”. Leading is a positive and encouraging action; controlling is a negative action which diminishes the person as they are crushed.

I want a man of integrity who is confident in himself and exudes a quiet authority. He does not need to bluster, bully or threaten nor does he need to crush another in order to prove his own strength. Nor does he need to manipulate. If he is “leading”, it is only natural that I will eventually follow.

This special man will not demand my respect, trust, love or devotion. He will earn it over time as he firmly but gently leads me in this dance. My respect, trust, love and devotion will begin to emerge and grow with every day that passes. He will encourage rather than be hurtful, accusing, or controlling as I continue my struggle to grow and reach the ultimate goal of joy and peace together. He will expect and demand the very best from himself as well as from me.

He will be my friend, lover, mentor, playmate, counselor, husband and soul-mate. A man able to make decisions and take responsibility for those decisions and the consequences therein. One who does not abdicate their authority and responsibility to others.

He will be a gentleman; compassionate, nurturing and caring – able to show affection and make me feel cherished, appreciated and protected. A man who will understand my fears and gently prod me past them as we grow together.

He will gradually set firm yet safe parameters within which I can be totally free to be myself. He will point out my occasional lapses and help me back on our chosen path. He will be able to recognize and admit to his own occasional missteps.

Rather than feeling threatened by my strong will, he will be amused, intrigued and excited by my attempts to control myself and my environment. He will be proud of my strengths and accomplishments. He can, and takes pride and pleasure in that symphony of trust, love and respect.

I am seeking a lifelong partnership where he holds 51% and I hold 49%. But I will only relinquish that extra 2% to a very rare and special man. He will never act superior, condescending, patronizing, controlling or hurtful. He will have a natural authority and ability to take the lead. Are you that man? If so, I would love to hear from you,.

Cat

[Cat is no longer available. - Editor]

Click here to return to the personal ads page

Have you seen the following articles?
Is there consent?
She wants to be taken in hand against her will?!
I don't want to be a servant or slave
Secretary: a deeper understanding
About Schmidt: choose engagement, not withdrawal
The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle: a critique
The coming battle
The joy of the master-queen dynamic
The face, the mask, and the dream
When rape is a gift