How we got past the year from hell

I've written before about how trying our first year together had been. I think a combination of things worked to get us to a better place. A big one was that Robert took me out of my stressful job (running a hospital ward on a fulltime basis) and enabling me to work from home (doing telephone medical triage one evening a week and two weekends a month). Much less stressful! I really consider myself a “work” from home homemaker and mom now. And so now I am not stressed out to the max, which helps everything. And Robert works from home, so we're essentially together 24/7. I love it. :-)

Second, we learned that micromanaging me doesn't work for us. I am not only capable of running the domestic side of our lives, I love it. Just call me Susie Homemaker. :-) So I pretty much cook, clean, grocery shop on my own steam. If Robert wants something done at a particular time or in a particular way, he tells me, and I do it.

I still do get angry at some things. I hate being told to go to bed. I also dislike having to ask for money for things other than groceries, because I hate to be told “no!” “No, Susie, I'm sorry you can't buy that dress, it's not in the budget and you don't need it.” Argh! But I don't lash out anymore...I grumble and I complain a little, but I don't rage at him. Just as I make the effort not to react badly or behave brattily, he makes the effort not to thwart me for trivial reasons. We've fine-tuned the dynamic to suit us. :-)

See, there's no prize for having the most masterful hubby, or for getting the most dramatic punishments... there's only the prize of your beautiful, unique relationship with your unique partner.

So yeah, I still get mad, only not as often and not as intensely. :-) Here's where spanking comes in... (you knew it had to be in here somewhere, no?) When I get into a mood where I feel cranky, out of sorts, or just uppity, that's when a spanking – not punishment – a “just because” spanking puts me right. It makes me feel little and loved and grateful. I'm not talking erotic spanking, the kind we do because it gets us both hot, with lots of touching and rubbing, I'm talking a businesslike “you need this and I'm going to give it to you” spanking. When it's over and I'm sobbing into Robert's shirt I feel as if all is right in my world. Then I get up with a smile, suffused with loving feelings, and have a much better attitude. So a big dose of rational self-talk plus a good spanking now and then gets us and keeps us happy.

Susie Joy
Take the Taken In Hand tour

Have you seen the following articles?
Happy living in fear of a man?!
Why would anyone want to be controlled by a man?
Taking her in hand is not a contact sport
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
Being taken in hand is hot!
Safe
What Taken In Hand is, and what it is not
The coming battle
The paradox of the master and the queen
Is there consent?

2003 Nov 12 - 13:52 | login or register to post comments | latest article | previous article | next article |

LOL! I LOVE being told to get...

LOL! I LOVE being told to get an early night! It makes me feel so cared-for! Susie, you are so right when you say each relationship is unique. I wish everybody could be as happy as we are!

by tap dancer on 2003 Nov 15 - 02:55 | login or register to post comments

Masterful Husband

Susie wrote:

See, there's no prize for having the most masterful hubby, or for getting the most dramatic punishments... there's only the prize of your beautiful, unique relationship with your unique partner.
Ain't that the truth.

But if you don't have a hubby..... you're on your own!

by Helen on 2003 Nov 21 - 15:50 | login or register to post comments

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